Chapter 2: The Hallway Was Longer Than the Office
I didn't look at the pregnant woman as I passed her. I didn't look at his mother either.
I took Sophie's hand first, then reached for Lily. Lily had the bunny pressed so hard against her chest its ear was bent. The handbag hung from my forearm and pulled at my shoulder. The folders inside it made it heavier than it should have been. I'd slipped them off the desk when his eyes were still on his phone. He hadn't noticed. Or maybe he thought I was just taking my purse.
The light blue dress was in my peripheral vision. I could feel her watching us. Not unkindly, not cruelly. Just still. Both hands on her belly like she was holding something I wasn't supposed to touch anymore. The older woman stood a half step behind her, pearls against her navy top catching the window light. She smiled at the girls. It was a small, tight smile. The kind you give at funerals when you don't know what to say.
I kept walking. The sequins on my dress caught every time I moved. It was too bright for that office now. Too white.
The door to the hallway was already open. My heels made no sound on the carpet until I hit the marble outside, and then they clicked. Lily stayed glued to my side, her little hand sweaty in mine. Sophie was quiet. Too quiet. She usually asked questions every ten seconds.
The elevator was at the far end. I pressed the button and we waited. The down arrow glowed white. I could hear the air conditioning and the soft hum of the building. Behind us, the attorney's office door didn't close right away. Nobody followed us out. I stared at our reflection in the elevator doors. Me in that gown, the girls in their light dresses, Lily's pink bunny a bright spot against all that white and gray. I looked overdressed for a Tuesday. I looked like I'd come from somewhere else entirely.
The elevator dinged. The doors opened and it was empty.
We stepped inside. I pressed L. The doors closed slowly on the hallway, on the frosted glass with the law firm's name, on the office where he was still sitting. He hadn't stood up. That was the last thing I saw before the doors met — him, behind that dark desk, holding his phone with both hands, not moving. He'd made his choice to stay seated. So I had to handle everything alone.
The elevator dropped. Lily leaned into my leg. Sophie held the strap of my handbag like it was a handle to keep her steady.
"Are we going home?" Sophie whispered. Her voice was very small in the metal box.
I bent a little, just enough to be closer to her. "We're going outside first," I said. I tried to keep my voice even. "Then we'll figure it out."
She nodded like that answered something.
The lobby downstairs was all glass and dark stone. Cold air hit us as soon as the doors opened. A security guard at the front desk glanced up, did a quick take at my dress, at the two little girls in daylight with no coats, and then looked back down. People were moving through with coffee cups and messenger bags. Normal Tuesday people. I felt every sequin again.
The handbag was digging into my arm. The folders inside shifted when I walked. I didn't know exactly what was in them yet. I knew they'd been on his side of the desk, that he'd left them there when he slid his chair back to make his little speech about a real family. I knew they mattered more than he thought they did.
We crossed the lobby toward the big revolving doors. Lily's steps were short and quick to keep up with mine. Outside, the light hit us hard. It was bright and clear, the kind of late morning where the city skyline was sharp against the sky. The sidewalk was busy. Horns down the block. A bus pulling away.
We stopped just outside the building, under the overhang so the sun wasn't straight on us. I had no car waiting. He'd driven us there together that morning, or rather, I'd ridden with him because he'd insisted it would be quicker to sign everything at once. My own car was at the house. Our house. The house I wasn't sure I still had a key to, or if that even meant anything now.
Lily tugged at my dress. "Mommy, my feet hurt."
I looked down. She was in her little flat shoes. We'd been standing in that office for over an hour.
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I shifted the handbag to my other arm and crouched down, gown pooling around me on the sidewalk. It was ridiculous, me in that beaded dress on the concrete with people walking around us. I smoothed the hair back from Lily's face and checked Sophie's hand again. I had my girls. I had the bunny. I had the bag with the folders. I had nowhere to put us in the next ten minutes.
I pulled out my phone with my free hand and stared at the screen. I needed to call someone to get us off that sidewalk.
