Chapter 15
Vanessa stood at the door with her purse already on her shoulder. She didn't wait for anyone to help her with it. That was the point, I realized. She had been waiting to be asked to stay.
The living room was quiet except for Leo's breathing against my chest. We were back on the floor in the same spot by the coffee table where I'd held him an hour earlier, only now my legs were stretched out and his weight had gone heavy and even. The gray sofa was behind us. Gloria sat at the edge of it, her hands empty in her lap. No phone.
Marco didn't move right away. He stood between the door and us, and for a second I felt my stomach tighten the way it had when he'd walked in and seen us on the floor. He looked at Vanessa, then at his mother, then at me.
Vanessa's hand was on the doorknob. She gave a small, tight nod toward Gloria. "Call me when you get home," she said. Her voice was controlled, not soft.
Gloria didn't answer right away. She looked at Vanessa and then she shook her head once, slowly. "I will," she said. "Drive safe."
That was it. No speech. No last defense. Vanessa opened the door. The hallway light from outside cut a thin white line across our rug. She stepped through it and pulled the door closed behind her. It clicked. It didn't slam. I listened for her steps in the hall and then for the elevator, but the building was quiet. My shoulders dropped before I told them to.
Leo stirred a little. He didn't wake. His cheek was warm and damp where it pressed against my top, and his little hand was fisted in the fabric near my collarbone. The same way he'd held me when he was scared. Only now his breathing was slow, asleep breathing.
Gloria stayed where she was. She didn't reach for anything. The afternoon light had shifted and was thinner now, still warm through the sheer curtains but lower, turning the arc lamp's shade gold at the edge. I could see dust in the light. I could hear the refrigerator humming from the kitchen.
Marco finally turned away from the door. He didn't go to the sofa. He came toward us and lowered himself to the floor in one smooth movement, his suit pants pulling at the knee. Right there on the rug beside me, close enough that his shoulder touched mine. He'd done this exact thing at the start of all of this, but then it had been hurried, a reaction while Gloria's phone was up in the foreground. Now there was no phone between us and no one blurred behind it. It was just the three of us on the floor and Gloria watching from a distance that felt respectful.
He didn't pick Leo up or try to take him from me. He put his hand on my back, flat and steady, and then slid his other arm around both of us so his forearm rested across Leo's back. I felt Leo sigh in his sleep and settle deeper.
"You okay?" Marco whispered to me. Not to Leo. To me.
I nodded. My throat was still tight. "Yeah," I whispered back. "Just tired."
Gloria smiled then. It was a small, tired smile that made the corners of her eyes crease. She had her hands folded now, fingers interlaced, and they stayed there. She wasn't filming. She wasn't going to.
Marco leaned his head down so it was close to mine and Leo's. I could smell his cologne and the faint starch of his shirt. His tie had loosened a little and his collar was open at the throat. He hadn't changed since he walked in.
He spoke quietly, his voice low enough that Leo didn't stir, but clear enough that Gloria would hear it too. It wasn't for an audience. It was a promise said at normal volume in a quiet room.
"Primero ustedes, siempre," he said.
First you two, always.
I closed my eyes for a second. The words landed the way I'd needed them to an hour ago when I'd looked up from the floor and said Tú nunca estás aquí. You are never here. He was here now. Not standing in the middle of the room torn between the sofa and the floor. On the floor with us.
I rested my head against his shoulder. My cheek found the familiar spot near his neck where his suit jacket met his shirt. His hand on my back moved in a slow circle. Leo's chest rose and fell against me, each breath warm through my top. I counted three of them before I let my own breath go.
Gloria didn't move to interrupt. She sat with her hands still, watching us with that softer look she hadn't had earlier when she'd held the phone up with both hands. She looked like someone's mom again, not someone documenting. After a minute she reached over and turned off the arc lamp that we'd never needed with the daylight, and the click was soft.
May you like
We stayed there. No one said we should get up and move to the sofa or start dinner or talk about what to tell people. The light kept fading a little more, but the room stayed warm. The glass coffee table with its gold frame was inches from my knee, empty except for a faint ring where a glass had been. The door stayed closed. The apartment felt like ours again, quiet and small and safe, with just the three of us breathing together on the floor.
I didn't know what tomorrow would look like with Vanessa or with Gloria's family group chat or with all the apologies we still owed each other. But Leo was asleep safe in my arms, Marco's arm was around us both and he wasn't leaving, and there was no lens between us anymore. That was enough to stay for.
