Chapter 2
The smoke got lower. That was the first thing I understood after he said "Run!"
I had not run.
We were still in the same shed and the air had changed. The orange glow that had been along the floorboards was wider now, and the light flickered against the wet concrete and made the water pooling around my bare foot look like it was moving on its own. The door with the black iron latch was still ajar. I could see a line of daylight at the gap, bright and thin, but the haze in front of it was thicker than before. It made my eyes water.
Daddy leaned toward me and the rope creaked around his chest.
"Macy, go find Mommy," he said. His voice was hoarse this time, not loud like before. Sweat cut through the soot on his face.
I looked down at the red hose in my right hand. The brass nozzle was heavy and cold even though the shed was hot. I held my rabbit tighter in my left arm and squeezed the nozzle the way I'd seen him do when he watered the garden. Nothing came.
"You're stuck," I said. I didn't mean it as an answer. It was just what I saw.
He pulled his shoulders and the thick rope didn't give. It was coiled around his torso two times, natural fiber biting into his torn white shirt where the shoulder had ripped open. He twisted, and his chest tattoo showed and then disappeared as the shirt shifted. He grunted and then stopped, breathing hard.
"I know, go find Mommy," he said. "Macy, tight. Can't get to you."
I tugged the hose again. I thought fire needs water meant the water was already in the hose, waiting. I shook the brass end and water droplets that had been sitting on the outside flicked onto my pink dress. But the hose itself was limp. It lay behind me in a soft curve across the wet floor and didn't feel full at all. When I pulled, it just slid a little and then went slack again, like a dead snake. I pressed the nozzle with my thumb, harder this time, and waited for the spray.
Nothing.
That was the confusion. I had the thing that was supposed to fix the fire and it wasn't doing anything. I stared at the nozzle, then at the flames licking the wall behind Daddy, then back at the nozzle.
"But fire needs water," I said. My voice was small in the smoke.
He heard me. He shook his head once, fast. "Run!"
I didn't. I took one step toward the door gap instead, dragging the hose with me. The rabbit's long ears brushed my leg. The daylight at the door was so bright compared to the orange inside that I had to squint. I thought if I got closer I could see Mommy out there. I thought maybe Mommy was right on the other side, the way she had been that morning when she told me to stay by the shed and not wander.
The smoke hit me lower down as I moved. It rolled across the ceiling and then sank, and suddenly I couldn't see the top of the door anymore, only the bottom half and the wet floor. It smelled sharp and made my throat close. I coughed and bent over without thinking about it, and the soot that had been a few specks on my rabbit's beige fur was now a gray smear across its head. The rabbit had been clean that morning.
Daddy coughed too, harder than me. He was still standing but he dropped his chin to his chest for a second to breathe where the air was clearer near his knees. The rope held him to the post behind him. He tried to pull his arms free again and the fibers squeaked.
He wasn't going to get loose. I could see that even with my little hands. I got down on my hands and knees because the air was better there. The concrete was cold and wet against my bare foot and my socked foot slipped a little. The hose was still in my hand. I pulled it toward my chest and the metal nozzle clinked against the floor.
From down low, the door gap looked farther. The smoke was a gray ceiling above us, maybe three feet off the floor now, and everything above it was gone. I hesitated with my knees on the water. Part of me wanted to crawl that last little way and push through the door the way he kept telling me to. The daylight was right there.
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But the hose was still limp in my fist, and the fire was still coming, and I didn't understand how I was supposed to leave the one thing that was supposed to stop it and leave him tied up behind me. My eyes watered so much I couldn't tell if I was crying or just stinging.
I stayed inside, on the wet floor, coughing, holding the hose that wouldn't flow and the rabbit that was turning gray.
