Chapter 2 - What My Hands Were Holding
My name is Lily and I was six that summer and still small enough to get lost in my own dress.
Ten minutes before everyone was looking at me, I had been out in the hallway where it was cooler. The ballroom doors were shut behind me and the music turned to a low thump through the wood. The carpet runner out there was dark red with a gold edge, and my shoes sank into it when I walked. The air smelled like flowers from inside mixed with cleaning spray and cold air from the vents up high.
Lauren had sent me out. Not in a mean voice then. Just quick, busy. She was standing near the head table fixing her veil in the reflection of a chandelier glass. My flower basket was missing. I had left it by a chair near the hallway when we came in for pictures. She pointed toward the doors with two fingers and told me to go get it so the photographer could have one more picture later. I remember her drop earrings moving when she turned her head.
I went because I wanted to be good. I pushed through the heavy door with both hands and it closed soft behind me.
The hallway was long and empty. On one side were tall mirrors and lit sconces that made little yellow circles on the wall. On the other side were closed doors with numbers on them. Far down at the end a cart with folded towels sat next to an ice machine that hummed. My basket was where I left it, tipped on its side against the wall by a potted plant with wide green leaves. A few white petals had fallen out onto the carpet.
I ran to it at first because the hallway felt too big alone. My tulle skirt made a scratchy sound around my legs. When I bent to pick up the basket, I saw something shine near the edge of the runner where the red met the hotel tile.
It was the ring.
It sat right on top of the carpet fibers, catching the light from the sconce above. Small and gold and too bright to miss. I had seen it before on Lauren's finger that morning when she held my hand for a picture and told me to stand still. Now it was just lying there by itself. I looked up and down the hallway. No one was there. The ice machine kept humming.
I did not think about stealing. I did not even know that word the way she would use it later. I thought about losing things and how bad it felt. I had lost a tooth the month before at school and cried until Dad found it in my lunchbox. I righted the basket and slipped the handle over my wrist. Then I crouched down and picked up the ring with my thumb and first finger because I did not want to drop it.
It was warm from the lights. Heavier than I expected. I closed my hand around it and then opened my hand to check it was still there. I did that twice while I walked back toward the ballroom doors. I held my basket in one hand and kept the ring cupped in the other, close to my chest so I would not lose it on the carpet.
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When I got to the doors, they felt heavier coming back in. Music and voices and warm air spilled out when I pulled. The ballroom was bright after the dim hallway and I had to blink. The chandeliers were all on. People were standing with glasses. Dad was near the dance floor talking to a man I did not know. Lauren was in the middle of everything in her white dress, looking perfect again.
I started toward her to give it back. I held my hand out a little so she could see I had it safe. That was the moment she turned and saw me. Her face changed before I could lift the basket to show her. Her eyes went straight to my closed hand where the gold showed between my fingers.
