Chapter 5
My name is still on watch bill even though I wasn't on watch. That morning on deck everything turned at once and I couldn't look away.
They brought watch log to small room under dome. Not bridge. Small room with pipes along ceiling and gray paint chipped near hatch. Chief Petty Officer Ellis laid logbook on table. He didn't sit. He stood beside me while I stood in same uniform, still damp at collar. White insignia dark where water stained.
Log showed 0947. Upper railing. Two names.
Ellis tapped first name with pen. "Watch stander logged you at forward rail. Low angle. Mouth open. Alarm."
I remembered deck cold under boots. Flat gray light made no shadows. I remembered looking up. Not down. Up toward rail and dome.
He tapped second name. Antagonist. Captain Hargrove. Logged at upper railing same minute. Peak authority. No one else noted.
I said Hargrove stood at rail behind horizontal cables. He looked down. Not over side. Down at me.
Ellis didn't write that down. He turned page.
Second scene came hour later. Same room, different light. They'd pulled camera feed from dome housing. Small camera meant for navigation, not surveillance. But dome saw rail.
Screen gray and overexposed. Fog made figure at rail hazy. My low angle from deck visible in earlier still: eyes wide, mouth slightly open. Now camera showed opposite angle. High angle looking down.
I saw myself small on deck near rope locker. Hair pulled back tight. Hands empty then. No rope yet. I saw Hargrove at upper rail, both hands on rail, chest pin catching flat light even at distance. He wasn't looking at sea. He was looking at spot near mooring line where Seaman Reyes stood too close to edge.
Ellis paused feed. "Your alarm expression," he said. "You reacted to something done near rail. Not to sea."
I nodded. Breath short. I remembered Reyes shoulders hunched, Hargrove voice low before shouting started. I remembered thinking he would shove, not order. Hands on rail tight. Then sudden movement. Not escape. Correction gone wrong.
Ellis said, "You want to amend statement?"
I said no yet. Not until log corrected.
He frowned. Log put me alarm without cause. Made alarm look internal. Crazy or afraid. But alarm had target. Hargrove at peak authority made target invisible.
Third scene held deck itself. Ellis walked me up ladder to superstructure with dome and railings. Wind still overcast, sea flat gray, same as before. Rope still twisted vertical beside hull below, coarse texture dark with water.
He stopped at upper railing. Horizontal cables at chest height. He gripped them.
"From here you see all," he said. "Dome camera sees here. Watch stander sees here. No blind spot."
I stood low angle spot where I had stood. Looked up. Figure at rail silhouetted even in daylight because sky behind bright. Hargrove had stood there. Authority made silhouette bigger than person.
Ellis said watch stander with log, Petty Officer Dunn, now said he didn't see Hargrove move Reyes, only saw me look alarmed. Said he logged what he saw, not what caused it.
I asked why Dunn didn't log Hargrove hands.
Ellis said, "Chain of command filters eyes."
I felt rope spray below. Dark blue diffused light underwater still vivid behind eyes. My grip later on rope with right hand, looking upward, not away from ship but toward that rail. Tension withheld because person at rail decided whether rope held or dropped.
Fourth scene closed room again. Ellis finally wrote. He added marginal note to log: 0947 — CAPT Hargrove present upper railing, observed by camera and by narrator low angle.
He didn't write what Hargrove did. Left blank for investigation.
He looked at me. "Your alarm now has context. Not random. Witnessed something done near rail."
I said I saw Hargrove reach.
Ellis held pen. "Reach how?"
I paused. Small breath. "Toward Reyes. Fast."
He wrote "physical contact near rail under review" and underlined.
Door not yet opened for next interview. Dunn waiting outside. Hargrove waiting in stateroom, still peak authority, still able to call my alarm panic, not witness.
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New question sat heavy: what exactly did I see from low angle that made eyes go wide and mouth open before I ever touched rope? Camera showed I looked up before I went over. Not after. Alarm came first. Water came second.
I kept hand near collar pin, damp still, and waited for them to ask next.
