I Held Two White Pills in My Palm While My Husband Watched Me Sleep...

The hallway light had gone off. I listened for his shoes.

Adrian had stepped out toward the stern with the man from the radio call, their voices low and moving away. I waited three breaths after the cabin door clicked shut. My heart was loud enough that I was sure it would carry through the wall.

I slid from the bed. The satin of my camisole stuck to my back for a second where I'd been sweating. The floor was cold under my bare feet. I kept the black phone pressed against my ribs with my left hand so the screen wouldn't light the room.

The corridor was narrow and dim, the same warm tungsten glow that had been there all night, but now it felt too narrow to breathe in. I moved close to the wall where the boards wouldn't creak. I'd learned that spot the first night we came aboard, when I'd gotten up for water and found the center plank gave a soft pop. I stayed left, toe to heel, slow.

The air smelled like salt and diesel and his cologne. At the end of the hall, the heavy door that led up to the deck was closed. It had a brushed metal handle and a deadbolt that I had seen the crew use with a key. I reached it and turned the handle gently, just enough to test it. It didn't move. I turned it a little harder, my palm sweating. Locked from the outside. I leaned my weight against it, hoping it was just stuck, but it held solid. No give at all. Through the small frosted window in the door I could see nothing but black night and a faint reflection of the hallway light.

I didn't try again. The sound would carry.

I turned back and slipped toward the galley instead. The hallway branched there, a few steps down. The galley light was off except for the low glow above the stove. I kept my feet on the rubber mat now, which was silent. In the corner by the storage bench, the orange life vests were stacked neatly. I lifted the top one. Underneath, the compartment where the handheld VHF radio should have been was empty. Just a dent in the foam and a coiled cord with nothing attached. The main radio on the wall had its mic clipped in, but the screen was dark. I pressed the power button. Nothing. I pressed it again and held it. Still nothing. The power cable behind it had been pulled clean from the socket, the end tucked up out of sight.

My fingers were shaking so badly I almost dropped the phone. I put it behind the vests for a second to free both hands and checked the drawer under the sink where I'd seen flares before. Opened it a centimeter at a time. Empty. The box was gone.

Then I saw it.

Up in the corner above the galley doorway, a small black dome. A security camera. I hadn't noticed it before because the brass trim made it look like part of the light fixture. A tiny red light glowed steady inside it, pointed straight down at me. At the galley floor. At where I was standing barefoot in my camisole, clearly not sedated, clearly searching.

My stomach dropped. I didn't know if it recorded or if someone watched it live from the bridge. I didn't know if Adrian checked it on his phone.

I stepped out of its view, back against the wall, and pretended to be reaching for a glass. My hand hovered over the counter like I was sleepwalking. I let my head loll a little, my eyes half closed, my breathing slow. If he was watching, he would see a drowsy wife getting water, not a woman looking for a radio that wasn't there.

Footsteps. Heavy, coming back from the stern. Two sets.

I moved. I left the glass where it was and padded back to the corridor, staying against the wall, out of the camera's direct line. The cold floor was suddenly loud under my feet no matter how careful I was. I reached the cabin door just as the voices got closer. I slipped inside, eased the door shut until the latch barely caught, and crossed the three steps to the bed in two quick, silent moves.

I slid under the thin blanket, rolled onto my side facing the wall, and tucked the phone back against my chest, screen down so no light showed. I pulled my knees up a little and let my mouth fall open. I tried to make my breathing heavy and even, the way I'd heard him breathing when he thought I was asleep.

The cabin door opened. Light from the hall cut across the floor. I didn't move.