Chapter 3 - What I Saw Before The Party Started
He had my phone in his hand now and he wasn't yelling anymore, not exactly. He just stared at the little screen like it might change if he looked hard enough. The living room went quiet around us. I could hear my own breathing, too fast, and the balloons moving against the wall when the air conditioner kicked on.
I kept thinking about that morning. Because that was when it really happened, hours before the cake hit the floor.
That morning the house smelled like sugar and coffee. Mom had been up early to get the streamers hung before anyone came over, and my brother had put on his black suit jacket even though it was hot. He kept checking his phone and smiling. She was already there, his girlfriend, with her long blonde hair pulled back and that dark green dress. She said she wanted to help with the birthday cake so it would be special.
I hadn't liked being in the kitchen with her. Not because she was mean to me. She wasn't. She just looked at me like I was in the way.
I'd gone in there to get my charger. I'd left it on the counter the night before, next to the toaster. I remember the wood floor was cold on my bare feet. The batter bowl was already out, big and silver, and the cake mix boxes were stacked by the sink. She was standing alone at the counter with her back half to me.
At first I thought she was just stirring. Then I saw the little bottle in her hand.
It was small, the kind with a dropper top, clear with just a little liquid inside. No big label I could read from the doorway. She looked over her shoulder once, toward the living room, and when she thought nobody was there, she squeezed the dropper into the batter. Once, then again. She stirred it fast after, like she wanted it to disappear.
My stomach did something weird. I should have said something right then. I know that. I was ten and I stood there in my pajamas with my charger cord twisted around my fingers and I didn't say, hey, what was that. I was scared she would laugh at me or tell my brother I was making stuff up. Last time I'd told on someone older, at school pickup, the teacher had said I misunderstood. I didn't want to be wrong in front of everybody.
So I did the other thing. I slipped my hand into my pajama pocket where my phone was and I pressed record.
I tried to hold still. My hand was shaking and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep my breathing quiet. On my screen I could see her clearly, the green of her dress, her hair falling forward, the way she tipped that little vial over the bowl. I got maybe twenty seconds. Then the faucet squeaked somewhere and she capped the bottle quick and slid it into her purse on the chair.
She turned and saw me.
"Oh," she said, smiling. "You're up early."
I shoved my phone behind my back. My face felt hot. "Just getting my charger," I said.
She nodded toward the batter like nothing happened. "We're going to have the prettiest cake," she said. "Blue and orange frosting, your brother's favorite colors. Don't tell him. It's a surprise."
I said okay. My voice sounded small. I grabbed the charger and walked out fast, and I didn't stop until I was upstairs in my room with the door shut.
I sat on my bed in my white dress — Mom had laid it out for the party — and I watched the video three times. Each time my chest got tighter. Pour, stir, hide the bottle. Pour, stir, hide the bottle. I didn't know what poison looked like. I just knew grown-ups didn't hide flavoring in their purse.
I thought about showing Mom. She was busy blowing up balloons in the living room. I thought about telling my brother. He was in the bathroom shaving, humming. I kept thinking, what if I'm wrong and I ruin his birthday party. What if I'm right and I say nothing and he eats it.
So I didn't tell anyone. I put my phone in the pocket of my party dress and I told myself I would watch. If she acted weird, if she tried to stop him from eating, then maybe it was nothing. If she pushed the cake toward him, I would do something.
All through the party I kept my hand on that phone. During the games, during the pictures by the US flag on the wall, I kept checking that the video was still there. And then when Mom brought the cake out, white with blue and orange swirls, and everyone started singing, I saw his girlfriend smile at my brother and hand him the first plate herself.
May you like
That's when I moved. I didn't think. I just ran forward and hit the plate with both hands as hard as I could.
The crash brought me back to now, to the rug and the ruined frosting and my brother holding the proof I should have shown that morning.
