Chapter 1 - The Elders Eat First
The prawns were going soft in the daylight. I remember that first because everything else was too perfect to look at — the high white walls, the sheer curtains breathing in front of the tall arched windows, the chandelier throwing little clean squares of light across the dark wood. Six plates of molded rice sat untouched. In the center, the platter sweated: prawns curled pink over ice, octopus dark at the edges, a stack of tortillas going stiff, water glasses already leaving rings. My right hand throbbed under the table. Across from me, Vanessa lifted her chin at the exact moment my stomach growled, at her peak and pleased about it.
My name is Maya, I was thirty-six that spring, and that morning I had still believed lunch was just lunch.
It was just past noon. Rosa sat at the head of the table in her green blouse, brooch pinned straight, gold earrings catching the sun, hands folded like she had all day. Daniel was beside me in his navy blazer, his left wrist with the watch turned toward me, his knee pressed hard against mine. The two guests at the far end kept their eyes on their water. I reached for my fork and Vanessa's voice cut clean across the table.
"The elders eat first."
I pulled my hand back. The movement made the red mark on the back of my right hand catch the light, raw and bright from wrist to knuckle. I slid it into my lap, onto the small cream handbag with the gold clasp I'd set on my knees because there was nowhere else to put it in that burgundy skirt. My diamond ring felt too tight. The rice in front of me held its molded shape, a perfect dome I hadn't touched. Nobody else had touched theirs either, but they were all looking at me like I had.
Daniel leaned in so close I felt his breath on my ear. His voice was low, meant only for me, but in that quiet room everyone heard the shape of it.
"Please, don't make a scene."
Rosa didn't blink. She just watched, stern and seated, and Daniel's knee pressed harder. I stared down at my plate and at the faint steam still coming off it, and I tried to breathe through my nose the way I'd practiced in the car. I could hear the sheer curtains moving. I could hear ice shifting under the prawns.
Vanessa wasn't done. She sat forward in that turquoise satin halter dress, the cutout at her chest catching light, her large earrings swinging when she gestured with her fork toward me and then toward Rosa. Her hair fell in highlighted waves over one shoulder and she didn't move it away.
"Your family now, you need to learn to give in. And of course, mother should manage all that your money? Yours too."
The words landed flat on the table between the platters. Mother should manage all that. Yours too. My paycheck, direct deposited every other Friday. The apartment we'd talked about. The small savings I'd kept separate since before the wedding. I felt my fingers tighten around the top handle of my handbag until the gold clasp dug into my palm. Under the table, my left hand with the wedding band found the reddened skin of my right wrist and held it.
I turned to Daniel. He wouldn't look at me. He was watching his mother, then his sister, then the octopus like it might tell him what to do. My voice came out thinner than I wanted it to.
"You agree with this?"
He finally looked at me then, and his eyes were wet and angry and pleading all at once. He shook his head a fraction, a warning. The chair legs scraped when he half-rose, his hand hovering over my arm without touching the mark.
"You went too far!"
The two guests froze. Rosa set her water glass down without a sound. The chandelier ticked faintly above us as the air shifted. I stood. My heels caught on the tile and I steadied myself with one hand on the edge of the dark wood, the other still gripping my handbag. The diamond ring flashed. Every plate, every glass, every eye stayed where it was except Daniel's, following me up.
May you like
Through the bright room I could see the open double doors behind him, daylight spilling in from the hall, sheer white beyond. I hadn't walked through them yet. My rice sat cold and perfect where I'd left it.
"In your family, wife means the woman who us has to endure everything."
