Chapter 8
The cot was still next to Emily's bed when Mark said we had to go for a drive. I hadn't slept much on it. The mattress was thin and the frame squeaked every time I turned over, but it was in her room and the door stayed open. Sarah folded the blanket I'd used and said we all had to go together. That was part of the plan Ms. Alvarez wrote down.
Mark carried my backpack to the car. It was the same one I'd come with, the zipper broken on the front pocket. He opened the back door of his navy blue SUV and told Emily to buckle me in. Emily climbed in first and pulled the strap across my chest. She didn't ask where we were going.
We drove out past the school and onto County Road F. The houses got farther apart and the ditch grass was tall. I watched the lines on the road through the window. Mark drove with both hands and didn't have music on. Sarah sat in the passenger seat with a manila envelope on her lap. After a while she said, "Is this it?" and Mark nodded at a faded mailbox.
My grandmother's house was low and white with a porch that sagged on one side. There were two chairs out there and a grill with a tarp over it. A window air conditioner hummed even though it wasn't hot. I knew the smell before we got to the steps, cigarettes and cleaner and something sweet that had gone bad.
She came out before we knocked. She had her hair pulled back and she wore a gray sweatshirt with a stain on the sleeve. She looked at Mark first, then at me.
"Well, you made it," she said. Her voice was hoarse.
Emily stayed close to Sarah's leg. I stood next to Mark. He put his hand lightly on my shoulder but didn't squeeze.
"Can we talk inside, Linda?" Mark asked.
The living room was small. The carpet was brown and there were piles of folded laundry on the couch. A stack of mail sat on the coffee table with a red envelope on top that said FINAL NOTICE. The kitchen behind it had empty bottles lined by the sink, not hidden. She didn't move them.
She sat down and lit a cigarette even though Sarah glanced at me and Emily. "You said you wanted to see where she's been staying," she said to Mark. "There it is. You see it."
Mark didn't sit. He stayed standing near the doorway with the envelope still in Sarah's hands. "Linda, Ms. Alvarez from the county needs something in writing. You called me eleven days ago and asked me to take Mia. I need you to say why."
My grandmother looked at me for a second and then away, out the window. "Because I can't do it anymore. My landlord said one more person and we're out. I got the eviction taped to the door last month. I tried."
Sarah opened the envelope and took out a single sheet of paper. She laid it on the coffee table and smoothed it flat. It was a form with lines for signatures.
Linda laughed a little, but not like anything was funny. "I told him, Mark. I told you I was drinking again. Jessica left her with me and I said yes when I shouldn't have. I love her but I can't keep her safe. I fall asleep. I forget she hasn't eaten."
I stared at the carpet pattern. Emily reached over and held my hand. Her palm was sweaty.
"You told me you'd signed something before?" Sarah said, quiet. "For school?"
"That was just so she could go to the clinic," Linda said. "That paper didn't mean nothing legal. I never had custody. Her mom did. And then her mom's gone. It was just me and now it's you. That's what I called to tell you."
Mark's jaw moved. "You said she would be better off with me. You didn't say you couldn't have her back."
"I can't," she said. She tapped ash into a soda can. "You want me to lie? I can't take her back tomorrow if you change your mind. I got no bed for her. The county lady already came by last week and saw the place. She took pictures."
Sarah slid the paper closer to her. There was a pen clipped to it. "This just says you are giving up informal care and that Mark is her dad and will be responsible. It doesn't give you money and it doesn't punish you. It just makes it clear."
Linda picked up the pen. Her hand shook a little. She read the top line out loud slow. " 'I, Linda Mayfield, maternal grandmother, confirm I cannot provide care...' Yeah." She signed it with a quick scribble and pushed it back. "There. I did that. You happy?"
Mark signed under her name. His signature was bigger. Sarah signed as a witness at the bottom. The pen made a scratching sound.
Nobody clapped or said thank you. Linda stood up and went to the kitchen and came back with a plastic bag with two hair ties and a little pink toothbrush in it. "Her stuff," she said to me. "I kept it."
I didn't take it right away. Emily took it for me.
On the porch outside, Linda didn't hug me. She touched the top of my head for half a second. "You be good, Mia," she said. She looked at Mark. "Don't put her back in a wall, for God's sake. Just put her in a room."
May you like
Mark didn't answer. He guided us back to the car. The screen door banged behind us.
In the car Sarah folded the signed paper back into the envelope and put it on the dashboard where it wouldn't bend. Mark started the engine and we pulled back onto the county road. Emily held the plastic bag on her lap and whispered, "You don't have to go back there," and I nodded but didn't say anything because I wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel yet, only that the house was getting smaller in the side mirror and no one was turning around.
