Chapter 4 - The Pink Hair Clip
I was still holding the folded napkin when Vanessa looked past my face and found the clip.
We hadn't moved from our places around the long glass table. The plates were white and empty and too clean. The gold rings around the napkins caught the chandelier light. My dad was standing near my chair and I could hear him breathing. Rosa had stepped back toward the windows. Nobody had sat down to eat.
Vanessa uncrossed her arms. That was the first change. She leaned forward in the gold chair and pointed with two fingers, not one, the way grown-ups did when they didn't want to touch something.
"That," she said. "That has to go before the photos."
I didn't understand at first. I thought she meant the napkin. I held it tighter. Then her eyes stayed up near my hair and I knew.
My hand went up on its own. I touched the little pink clip above my ear. The plastic edge was warm from my head. I pressed it flatter like that would hide it.
"It looks childish," Vanessa said. She glanced at my dad. "You can't have her in the pictures like that. Not at this table."
My dad shifted his weight. His suit jacket pulled at the shoulder. "Elena," he said quietly.
I kept my fingers on the clip. My mom had put it in that morning in the bathroom of our old apartment. She'd knelt down so our eyes were even and she'd slid it in and said, there. So you shine but not too much you blind them. She'd smiled when she said it. I could still feel her thumb against my temple.
Vanessa saw me touching it and her smirk went thin. "Take it out," she said. "Go look in the mirror in the hall and fix your hair. Properly."
I looked at my dad. His beard moved when he swallowed. He wouldn't look at Vanessa for long, and he wouldn't look at me for long either. His eyes kept going back and forth between us and the empty chairs.
"Do what she says, honey," he said. His voice was low. "Go change. Just take the clip out for lunch."
It wasn't loud. It wasn't mean the way yelling is mean. It was worse because it sounded tired, like he'd already decided.
"No," I said.
The word came out small. I felt it in my throat first. Vanessa blinked.
"What did you say?" she said.
I moved my hand so my whole palm covered the clip. "I don't want to take it off."
My dad let out a breath through his nose. "Elena. Don't make this harder."
"I'm not making it hard," I said, and my voice shook. "Mom gave it to me."
Vanessa stood up then. She didn't push the chair back fast. She rose slow and smoothed the front of her black dress with both hands. The diamond necklace moved against her skin. She stared at my hand over my hair like she wanted to pull it away herself but wouldn't do it with someone watching.
"Your father told you to go," she said. Her voice stayed even. "You don't talk back at this table."
I stepped back from the glass edge until my legs hit the gold chair behind me. The chair didn't move. Everything in that room was too heavy to move. The city was bright white outside the windows behind Rosa. I could see the tall buildings and the sun on the glass.
"I'll be good," I said to my dad. "I won't talk in the pictures. I can just sit."
He looked down at me. His brow was tight and his jaw was doing that thing again. For a second I thought he might say yes. His hand lifted a little off his side.
Then Vanessa said his name. Just his name. "Daniel."
And his hand dropped.
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"Go to your room," he said to me. "Now."
I shook my head. I kept holding the clip so hard my fingers hurt. I didn't run and I didn't yell. I just stayed there by the table with the napkin crushed in my other fist, and I didn't take it out.
