Chapter 6 - Milk and Warm Air Vent
Noah started crying for real by the windows.
Not the little asleep whimper he did sometimes. This was hungry crying. His face got hot under my hair and his hands grabbed at the blue shawl. My back was tired from holding him and the rug felt cold through my feet.
Mr. Daniel stood up fast. He looked at the door like somebody might hear, then at Noah.
"He needs—" I started.
"I know," he said. His voice was low. "Stay here."
He left the vacuum where it was on the rug and went out. I watched his shoes go quiet down the hall. The study felt bigger without him. The moonlight from the big windows made a blue square on the rug. Cold air came in around the glass. I could feel it on my ankles.
I shifted Noah more to my front so I could check him. The shawl was still tight. I kept it tight the whole time. I patted his back the way you do. He rooted against my dress and cried harder.
"Shhh," I whispered. "Please shhh. He went to get it."
I held my cleaning cloth up to his cheek so he'd have something soft. He pushed it away.
Mr. Daniel came back quicker than I thought. He had a kitchen towel over one hand and a small mug in the other hand, and a folded gray blanket over his arm. He closed the study door with his elbow.
"Kitchen's a mess," he whispered, like he was sorry. "I don't — I don't keep much here."
He knelt down next to me, not too close. He set the mug on the rug. Steam came up a little. It smelled warm.
"It's not too hot," he said. "I checked. It's just milk with a little water. That's all I had."
I stared at the mug. There was no bottle.
He saw me looking. "I know. I looked. I don't have—" He stopped. "We can use this. If you hold him, I'll hold—"
"I can do it," I said.
He nodded. He didn't argue. He spread the gray blanket out on the rug on the lamp side, away from the windows. The lamp made a warm circle there by the desk.
"Come over here," he said. "It's cold by the glass. You'll both get cold."
I stood up with Noah on my back. My legs wobbled. Mr. Daniel put his hand out but didn't grab me. Just left it there in case I fell. I didn't fall. I walked to the blanket and sat down.
The rug was warmer there. I could hear the lamp buzz a tiny bit.
Mr. Daniel sat across from me, cross-legged, which looked funny in a suit. His pants pulled tight. He pushed the mug closer.
"Careful," he said.
I untied the front knot just enough to slide Noah around to my lap, but I kept the blue shawl around us both. I didn't take it off. It stayed on my shoulders and under his bottom so he was still secure. That was the rule I made. Shawl stays.
Noah cried and turned his head. I dipped the corner of the kitchen towel in the warm milk and let him suck on it. He stopped crying for a second, then cried again because it wasn't enough.
"Here," Mr. Daniel said. He folded the towel long. "Try like this."
I held Noah with one arm and held the folded towel to his mouth with the other hand. I tipped the mug just a tiny bit so the towel stayed wet. He sucked and swallowed. Milk dripped down his chin. I wiped it with my cleaning cloth.
"Good," Mr. Daniel breathed. "Good. That's good, Mia."
My hands were shaking. He saw. He put his hand under the bottom of the mug to steady it for me, without touching my fingers.
We stayed like that a long time. The clock on the desk ticked. Noah's breathing slowed. Suck. Swallow. Suck. His eyes closed, then opened, then closed.
"He's sleepy," I whispered.
"Yeah," Mr. Daniel said. He smiled a little, but it looked tired.
He pulled the gray blanket up around my feet. Then around Noah, but not over his face. He was careful about his face.
"Better?" he asked.
I nodded. My feet were warming up. Noah felt heavy and warm in my lap. The shawl smelled like milk now.
Mr. Daniel leaned back on his hands. He looked at Noah, and at the vacuum, and at the desk. He looked everywhere except at the bookcase. I noticed because it was right behind him. The lamp light hit the dark wood and made it shine, but he wouldn't turn his head that way.
Even when he shifted to get more comfortable, he turned toward the windows instead. His shoulders went tight.
"Are you cold too?" I asked.
"What?" He looked at me. "No. I'm fine."
"You don't look at that wall," I said before I could stop myself.
He froze. Just for a second. Then he tucked the blanket tighter around my ankle, real focused on that.
"Just get him to sleep," he said quietly. "Stay on this side where it's warm."
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Noah made a little sigh and his hand opened up on my dress. He was full and sleepy. I kept patting. I kept the shawl secure around us. The study was quiet again except for the rain at the windows and the lamp buzz.
Mr. Daniel stayed on the blanket with us. He didn't go back to the door.
