Chapter 10
The light the next morning was too bright. It came through the glass-pane door and hit the white cabinets and the marble island and made everything look clean in a way that felt wrong. I hadn't slept. My cheek still throbbed in a dull, deep way when I turned my head.
Leo was already awake when I got to the kitchen. He sat at the island in his red and white striped shirt, his denim overalls a little twisted at the strap. He had his hands around his cereal bowl but he wasn't eating. The milk had gone cloudy and the little O's had sunk.
Connor stood at the counter by the coffee maker. He wore the same white tee from yesterday, his olive bomber hung over the back of a chair. He didn't look at me right away. He looked at Leo.
"Hey, buddy," he said. His voice was low and careful. "You want banana with that?"
Leo didn't answer. He stared at his spoon.
I moved to the other side of the island. I kept the island between us. It wasn't a decision I announced. I just stayed there. My phone was face-down on the marble where I'd left it last night. The dome camera in the ceiling corner blinked its small red light.
"I got it," Connor said when I reached for the milk carton. He was already holding it out. "Let me."
"I can do it," I said. I kept my voice even. Not cold. Just controlled.
He set the milk down and pulled his hand back. He nodded once. Too quickly.
I poured a little more milk for Leo even though he didn't need it. Leo watched my hands. His eyes were puffy. He breathed through his mouth the way he did when he'd been crying a long time.
"Is it too cold?" I asked him.
He shook his head. Then he whispered, "I don't want it."
"That's okay," I said. "You don't have to finish it."
Connor leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, then uncrossed them. He was trying to find somewhere to put his body that didn't look wrong.
"I can take him to the park later," he said. "If you want. Just us. Or all three. Whatever you want."
I looked at him then. Really looked at him. His eyes were red. He hadn't slept either.
"I don't know yet," I said. "Let's just get through breakfast."
The silence came back. The refrigerator hummed. Outside, a car went past on the county road. Leo pushed his bowl a half inch away and then pulled it back. He didn't pick up the spoon.
Connor tried again. He stepped around the island, slow, like I might flinch. I didn't. But I shifted my weight back.
"Victoria," he said quietly. "Do you need ice? For your—" He didn't finish. He gestured toward his own cheek.
"I'm okay," I said. It wasn't true but it was the answer I had.
He stopped halfway around the island. He understood the distance I was keeping. He went back to his side.
Then my phone buzzed. The screen lit up face-down, a white glow against the marble. Then it buzzed again.
Connor glanced at it. I turned it over.
Martha.
The preview showed two texts stacked.
Martha: I want to see Leo today. You can't keep him from me.
Martha: Connor, tell Victoria to bring him by. This is family.
Leo saw the name on the screen. He knew the shape of it. He made a small sound and pushed his bowl again.
Connor read over my shoulder without moving closer. His jaw tightened.
"She texted you too?" I asked.
He pulled his own phone from his pocket. He had three missed texts from her. He didn't open them. He locked the screen.
"She wants to come over," I said. I read the words out loud because Leo was right there and I didn't want secrets in the kitchen anymore. "She wants to see Leo today."
Connor exhaled. "I can tell her not today."
"It's not just not today," I said. I kept my hand on the back of Leo's chair. He was leaning into me now. "She can't just text and get what she wants after yesterday. Not after what Leo saw. Not after what she did."
"I know," he said. He said it fast. Then slower, "I know."
Leo looked up at me. His curly hair was flat on one side from the pillow. "Is Grandma coming?" he asked.
I crouched down so I was eye level with him. I put my hand on his knee, over the denim.
"Not right now, sweet boy," I said. "Not until Mom and Dad figure some things out."
"Is Grandma mad?" he whispered.
Connor knelt too, on the other side of Leo's chair. He didn't touch Leo until Leo looked at him.
"Hey," Connor said to him. "Nobody's coming over that you don't want. Okay?"
May you like
Leo didn't answer. He looked between us, from my cheek to Connor's face.
My phone buzzed a third time. Another text from Martha. I didn't pick it up. I left it glowing on the marble island between the cereal bowl and the coffee, a choice sitting there waiting to be made.
