Chapter 14 - Leaving the Floral Arch
The organ stopped first. Not all at once, but like someone had lifted their hands off the keys in the middle of a note. I felt it in my arms before I heard the quiet. The baby was heavy then. My shoulders burned from holding her so long, and the pink blanket had slipped down past her knees. I hitched her up higher and tucked the corner back around her feet. I didn't put her down. I hadn't once.
Daddy didn't pick us up. He kept his hand light on my back, between my shoulder blades, and he bent down so his face was level with mine. "We're going to walk out nice and easy," he said. "You keep holding her. That's your job. Okay?"
I nodded. My throat hurt from crying earlier.
Behind him, the guests were still in the pews, whispering. Nobody stood up. The tall windows threw bright squares across the marble floor and I could see dust in the light. The floral arch at the front looked too big now, with all those white flowers just sitting there for no reason.
Daddy turned to the older man in the gray suit by the front pew. I didn't know his name, but he'd been sitting near Daddy the whole time. "Can you pull your car around to the side lot?" Daddy said, quiet. "And I need you to carry her tote for me. Blanket too, if she'll let you take the extra one."
I had the little tote bag at my feet where I'd dropped it in the aisle. The man in gray picked it up like it weighed nothing. He also folded the spare blanket someone from the church had brought for the baby and laid it over his arm. He didn't reach for my baby or my pink blanket. I was glad. I held mine tighter.
Across the aisle, she was standing by the flowers. The bride. Her veil had gone crooked when everything happened, and for a minute she just stared at the pews. Then she reached up with both hands and pulled the pins out, one by one. She handed the veil to a woman in a dark dress without saying anything. Her blonde hair was still up, but looser. She didn't look at me. She didn't look at Daddy either.
Someone opened the small side door near the piano, the one that led straight to the parking lot instead of back down the long aisle. Light came in white off the asphalt. She walked through it with the woman in dark dress. No yelling. Her long dress made a soft sound on the marble and then on the concrete outside. The door eased shut behind her. That was it.
Daddy breathed out. "Good," he said, almost to himself. Then to me, "Ready?"
He didn't take the baby. He didn't take the tote. His hands stayed empty. He just kept one hand near my elbow, not grabbing, just there so I knew where to go. We started walking, not down the center where everyone was staring, but off to the side, past the end of the pews toward that same side door.
People watched. An old lady gave me a sad smile. I looked down at the baby instead. She had her head on my cardigan and her fingers curled in my sleeve. Her breath was warm and slow. She was tired.
Outside, the air was hot after the cool chapel. The parking lot smelled like sun and cars. The man in gray had his black car idling by the curb with the back door open. He'd already put the tote on the seat and laid the spare blanket next to it.
Daddy stopped on the sidewalk and turned to me. He held out his hand, palm up. The thin silver chain was in it. He'd kept it since I gave it to him under the arch. "I need you to keep this safe for me," he said. "Put it back where you had it. Under your dress. Don't take it off till we get home. Can you do that?"
I nodded. I shifted the baby to one arm for just a second — I didn't put her down, I held her against my chest — and I took the chain with my free hand and slipped it back under the neck of my blue dress. It felt cold for a second, then warm. Hidden again.
"Good girl," he said. His eyes looked tired, not shocked anymore.
May you like
He helped me into the back seat, guiding me with his hand on the door frame so I wouldn't bump her head. I sat with the baby in my lap, the pink blanket still around her, and he buckled the seat belt around us both as best he could. The man in gray got in front. Daddy got in on the other side of me.
The car pulled away from the white chapel. I looked back once through the window. The tall doors were closed. Nobody followed us.
