Chapter 1: The Bunny in My Arms at the Dinner Table
The lamp on the sideboard threw warm light across the dark wood table and caught the edge of my water goblet and the woven placemat and the fork I'd not touched. I was standing by my chair in my white dress with my cream bunny pressed so hard against my chest I could feel its pink ribbon twisted damp under my fingers. My cheeks were wet and my breath came in little catches I couldn't stop.
Vanessa sat right behind me at the same table looking perfect in her cream blouse with her long dark hair parted in the middle, her hands open and calm on the placemat like she was the one who needed to be believed. That was the contradiction I didn't have words for then, that she could look so composed and concerned while I was shaking so hard my bunny's ear kept slipping.
My name is Ellie. I was four that night at the dining table.
It was just after dinner, around seven thirty, and the house was quiet except for the hum from the kitchen and the curtains pulled closed against the night outside. Daddy stood across from me in his dark navy shirt with the top button undone, his short brown hair a little messed and stubble on his jaw, his brow furrowed and his mouth barely open. He wasn't eating. He was looking at me and then at Vanessa and then back at me, breathing slow through his nose, and I could see his chest move.
I hadn't planned to say it. The words just pushed out of me because Vanessa had just told him I was making it up. I clutched my bunny tighter and looked straight at my dad.
"Daddy, she's lying. Please, believe me."
His eyes fixed on me and his voice came low and tight.
"What happened? Tell me right now."
I swallowed and my throat hurt. The bunny's fur was wet where I'd been crying into it.
"She took me into the laundry room."
Vanessa made a small sound and lifted her hands a little higher, palms up, and her eyebrows went up in that way that was supposed to look worried.
"What are you talking about?" she said. Then, softer, to my dad like she was explaining me, "She's confused, that's not what happened."
That was the lie. One short sentence and it made my stomach drop because I knew what had happened in that small room with the washer humming and the door closed. I wasn't confused. I remembered the cold floor on my bare feet and her hand on my arm and the door clicking shut. I looked at Daddy and I could see he didn't know who to believe yet, and that scared me more than the laundry room.
"No, check the camera, daddy."
I said it as clear as I could with tears still on my face, and I held the bunny out a little without letting go like it could help me be heard.
His expression changed. For a second he just stared, his mouth opening a little more, and I heard his breath catch.
"The camera?"
He didn't wait for either of us to answer. He straightened up and his shoulders squared and his voice got firmer, louder in that quiet dining room.
"Nobody move, I'm checking it right now."
Vanessa shifted in her chair and her composure slipped for the first time. She leaned forward and her hands tightened on the edge of the table.
"Wait, you don't need to back."
Daddy's eyes cut to her and stayed there. He held his hand up, palm out, and his jaw set.
May you like
"I said wait here."
He turned then, just enough that the light from the lamp hit the side of his face, and he looked toward the hallway that led past the kitchen to the laundry room. The door at the end was still closed. No one had moved. My bunny was still crushed against my white dress and my cheeks were still wet and the table was still set with the cut glass goblets and the silverware no one had cleared, and my dad was about to take that first step out of the dining room.
