Chapter 5 - The Drawer Closed Quiet
I hadn't heard from her in nineteen days. I counted because the shifts made it easy to count. Double at the warehouse, then four hours mopping the lobby of an office building on Sampson Road, then sleep with the blinds taped shut against the daylight. My phone had gone quiet except for the alarm and the crew group text. That morning I woke to it buzzing against the particleboard nightstand.
I was still in my work shirt. My apartment smelled like old coffee and cleaning solution from the mop bucket I'd left by the door. The blinds let in a thin line of gray light. I sat up and rubbed my face and looked at the screen.
It was Olivia. One line first, then another right after.
Can we talk. Not like that. I just want closure, Ethan.
I stared at it a long time. My breathing slowed down without me trying to control it. I could hear the upstairs neighbor's kid running back and forth, and a truck backing up out on the highway.
I didn't answer right away. I got up and went to the kitchen counter where I'd left the ring. I'd kept it in the small black box since the deck. I hadn't opened it since that night, but that morning I flipped the lid with my thumb. The diamond caught even that weak light. I stood there looking at it, and my throat got tight in that familiar way, but I didn't let it go further than that.
I took the box into the bedroom and pulled open the top drawer of the dresser. Socks, a dead battery, old pay stubs with rubber bands around them. I set the box all the way in the back, behind the socks, and pushed the drawer shut with my hip. It made a soft wooden sound. I stood there with my hand on the handle for a second.
Not in my pocket, I told myself. Not anymore.
I texted back: Okay. One dinner. No more than that.
She answered fast. Tomorrow? Somewhere quiet where we can actually talk.
I should have picked the diner on Fifth. I almost did. Instead I typed what I could afford without putting it on a card I couldn't pay. I knew the hotel restaurant downtown let staff bring one guest on slow nights. One of the night servers had told me about it when I was emptying trash there during a temp cleaning job. I hated the idea as soon as I thought it, but it was the only place that didn't feel like I was hiding.
There's a staff guest thing at the hotel restaurant. Tuesday is slow. I can get us in. Nothing fancy.
She wrote back: That place? Okay. 7?
Yeah. 7. I'll meet you out front, I wrote.
The next evening I got off the warehouse shift at five and rode the bus home with my hands shaking a little from caffeine and no food. I showered until the water went lukewarm, shaved around the stubble, put on the only clean button-down I had that didn't have a frayed cuff. It was light blue, not navy. I checked the drawer once before I left. Still closed. I left it closed.
She was already waiting on the sidewalk outside the diner when I walked over to catch the second bus. I hadn't expected to see her until Tuesday. She stood under the awning in jeans and a cream sweater, hair pulled back, no earrings. The neon sign buzzed above us and the smell of grease came through the vent.
You changed your mind? I asked.
No, she said. I was nearby. I wanted to say this not over text. She glanced at the door, then back at me. This isn't me asking you to wait for me. I need you to know that.
I nodded. My hands were in my pockets. I could feel my pulse in my neck.
I heard you, I said.
One dinner, she said. And we don't do that thing where you try to convince me.
I looked at her for a beat. The traffic passed. A guy came out of the diner with a to-go cup and held the door for nobody.
I'm not going to beg you, Olivia, I said.
She studied my face like she was checking if it was true. Then she gave a short nod.
Okay. Tuesday at seven, she said.
May you like
I'll be out front, I said.
She stepped back toward the curb. For a second I thought she was going to say something else. She didn't. She just lifted her hand a little and turned toward the parking lot. I watched her go, then I walked inside the diner alone and ordered coffee I didn't need, just to sit somewhere warm before the bus came.
