Chapter 2
The key didn't move. It sat on the kidney tray in the forceps where she'd left it, brass catching the overhead light. I stared at it because I didn't want to look at her face.
She was still crouched. I could feel her there at eye level, not touching me, just breathing the same air. My pink shirt had that dark smear at the neckline and I kept pulling at the hem with my fingers. My left cheek stung every time I swallowed.
"I'm going to set these down," she said. Her voice was low and even. "I'm putting the tray right here where you can see it. I'm not going to touch you without asking. Okay?"
I didn't answer. I gave a small nod and kept looking down. The tears had dried tight on my skin.
She moved slow. She placed the tray on the stand beside the table, not behind me, not out of sight. Then she pulled the rolling stool a little closer but not too close.
"My name is Elena Ruiz," she said. "I'm a nurse practitioner. You can call me Elena if you want. Is it okay if I stay right here with you?"
I nodded again. My throat made a little sound when I breathed in.
She didn't reach for my face. She stayed where she was and talked me through everything before she did it.
"If it's okay, I'd like to look at your cheek again. Just with my eyes first. No touching yet. Can I do that?"
I turned my head a fraction toward her. That was the only permission I knew how to give.
She looked, hands still in her blue gloves folded in her lap. "Thank you," she said. "I'm going to get a couple things to take good notes, so we remember exactly what we saw today. Is that okay?"
I swallowed. "Okay," I whispered. It was the first word I'd said out loud.
She stood smooth, no sudden moves, and went to the counter. She washed her hands even though she had gloves on, then opened a drawer and took out a small paper ruler, the kind with colors and numbers on it, and her phone.
"I'll explain each step," she said when she came back. "I'm going to hold this little ruler next to your cheek. I won't press it to your skin unless you say it's okay to. I'll take a photo with the ruler beside the scratches so we have a clear record. Would you like me to count to three before I take it?"
I stared at the ruler. "You don't have to touch," I said quietly.
"Got it. No touching. Thank you for telling me."
She held the ruler in the air, about an inch from my cheek, steady. Her other hand held the phone back far enough that the flash didn't hit my eyes. Click. She checked the screen, then showed me the angle, not the picture itself.
"Perfect. Thank you for holding still." She made a note on a paper clipped to a board. Her pen moved quick. "I'm writing down three thin lines, left cheek, about this long, and that your shirt has some dirt on the collar. That's just what I see. Nothing extra."
She didn't ask how it happened. She didn't say who did it. She just wrote.
Then she set the clipboard down.
"Do you want anything right now?" she asked. "I can get you water, or a warm blanket. It's cold in here. I can also call someone for you, like your mom or your grandma, if you'd like me to. You get to choose. You can also choose nothing."
I thought about water and my stomach turned. The blanket sounded safer.
"Blanket?" I said.
"Blanket. Absolutely." She stood again. "I'll be right back, I won't close the door all the way. Is it okay if I step just outside for ten seconds to grab one?"
I nodded and wrapped my arms tighter around myself. My cheek throbbed.
She stepped to the door with the little rectangular window. As she reached it, the shadow on the other side moved. The blurred silhouette that had been still in the glass shifted, head turning. A light knock came, soft but quick.
Then the small speaker above the door crackled.
"Elena? Dad in hall asking how much longer. Says he needs to get her home soon," a nurse's voice said from the intercom.
My whole body went tight. I looked at the door, then at the key on the tray. I couldn't breathe right.
Elena didn't open the door. She pressed the button on the wall and answered calm, same even voice.
"Thanks, Jen. Can you let him know we're finishing the gentle exam and need about fifteen more minutes? Offer him water in the waiting area. I'll come update him myself."
"Copy," the voice said.
The silhouette didn't move away right away. It stayed there, dark against the little window, then finally stepped back, out of view.
Elena turned back to me. She didn't pretend it didn't happen.
"That's your dad in the plaid shirt from earlier," she said quietly. "He's in the hallway. The door will stay closed while you're with me. No one comes in unless you say it's okay. Do you want me to stay close?"
I felt tears come again, but not the loud kind. I reached my hand out just a little toward the blanket in her arms. She unfolded it and held it open.
"Can I place this around your shoulders?" she asked. "You can do it yourself if you prefer."
"You can," I whispered.
She draped it light over my shoulders, not tight, not trapping. It was warm from the cabinet. I pulled it closed at my front and felt my breathing slow a tiny bit.
I looked up at her and nodded, just once, that I wanted her to stay.
She gave me a small nod back and tapped the intercom again.
May you like
"Jen, we're good in here. Please keep the hall calm for us. I'll signal when we're ready."
She pulled her stool back to eye level beside the exam table, between me and the door, and sat. The key stayed on the tray where I could see it, untouched, safe for now.
