Chapter 8 - The Paper Gown Did Not Cover Anything
The waiting room smelled like rubbing alcohol and old coffee. I sat on the edge of the exam table in the paper gown with my sweater folded on the chair, my leggings pooled around my ankles before the nurse told me I could get dressed again. My shoes were still on the floor where I'd slipped them off.
The nurse, a woman in her fifties with short gray hair and a badge that said CAROL, glanced at the cuff still around my arm. She didn't rush.
"Blood pressure's up a little today, Maya," she said. "Not emergency high. But with where you are, close to term, and what you told me about stress at home, Dr. Patel wants you on rest. Feet up. No lifting. No long drives back and forth."
I nodded and tried to breathe normally.
"Is the baby okay?" I asked.
"Heartbeat's good. Strong. You're measuring right where you should be," she said, and she put her hand lightly on my forearm. "This is about protecting you both. Rest isn't a suggestion this time. You need calm. Do you have somewhere quiet you can stay?"
That question sat in my chest longer than the blood pressure cuff had.
"I think so," I said.
She helped me sit up slower than I wanted to. In the bathroom I changed back into my sweater and leggings, the knit stretching tight across my belly. In the mirror my hair was flat on one side. I looked tired in a way makeup wouldn't have fixed.
Outside, the parking lot was bright and hot. Heat came up off the asphalt in waves. My car was parked in the second row, facing the highway, and for a minute I just stood beside it with my keys in my hand. I didn't get in right away because once I got in, I would have to decide where to drive.
I slid into the driver's seat and left the door open to let the air move. The black duffel was in the trunk. The folder was under the passenger seat where I'd put it that morning, zipped into a grocery tote so it wouldn't show. I reached over, pulled the tote into my lap, and just looked at it.
My phone was on the cupholder. I picked it up and called Beth.
She answered on the second ring. "Hey. Are you done?"
"Just walked out," I said. "They want me on rest. Blood pressure's up. Baby's fine, but they said stress, and—" My voice caught. I pressed my palm against the steering wheel. "Can I come stay a couple nights?"
There was a pause, just the sound of her kitchen in the background. A cabinet closing.
"Of course," she said. "You don't even have to ask. The guest room's made. Are you okay to drive over?"
"I'm in the clinic lot. It's maybe twenty minutes."
"Come now. I'll be here. Do you want me to come get you?"
"No. I can drive. I just—" I looked toward the road, toward home if I turned left, toward her place if I turned right. "I'm not going back until he tells me what those papers are. I mean it, Beth."
"I know you do," she said quietly. "Bring your bag. We'll figure out the rest after you rest."
After we hung up, I sat with the engine off and the windows down. A minivan pulled in next to me. A dad unloaded a toddler and a diaper bag. Normal life kept moving two spaces over.
I opened the tote and took out the folder again. I hadn't read all of it. I didn't want to read it in this lot with the sun glaring on the pages. But I knew enough to know I couldn't leave the only copy where Derek could find it.
The clinic office had a copier behind the front desk. I walked back in with the folder held close to my sweater and asked Carol if I could make copies. She didn't ask what it was. She just waved me toward the machine by the check-in window and gave me the code.
My hands shook while I fed the pages through. The machine was loud in the quiet office. I made two full sets, checked each one for missing pages, and slid the originals back in the folder. One copy I folded into a large manila envelope the receptionist gave me and locked in the glove box. The other I split — half in my purse under my wallet, half tucked in the side pocket of the duffel in the trunk.
Back in the car, I texted Beth my ETA and then sat a minute longer with my hands on my belly. The baby shifted, a slow roll from one side to the other. I closed my eyes until it settled.
May you like
I wasn't running. I told myself that clearly. I was following orders. Rest. Quiet. No going home to stand in another doorway waiting for an explanation.
I started the car and turned right out of the parking lot, toward Beth's.
