Chapter 5
The envelope didn't look new. That was what I kept staring at.
The tan paper had gone soft at the corners and the string had that faded color you get when something's been sitting in a drawer for years. The wax seal was dark, reddish-brown, almost black in the kitchen light, and it was cracked a little on one edge but still holding. I reached out without thinking and my mom's hand shot out and hovered over mine before I could touch it.
"Ethan, don't," she said. Her voice was low and tight.
Daniel hadn't moved from the other side of the island. His hands were still on the granite, palms down, like he was trying to keep himself still.
I pulled my hand back. "What is that stamp thing?" I asked her. "You've seen it before."
She didn't answer right away. She was looking at the seal like it was going to move.
"Mom?"
Claire swallowed. I saw her throat work and her gold earrings shift a little. She glanced at me, then at Daniel, then back at the envelope.
"Yes," she said finally. It was barely a whisper. "I've seen it."
Daniel nodded once, slow. "It's old," he said. "It's been sealed a long time."
"How long?" I asked.
"Years," he said. He didn't look at me when he said it, he looked at my mom. "It's never been opened. The string's never been cut. Whoever closed it meant it to stay that way until now."
My mom let out a breath that sounded like it hurt. "Where did you get letters with that seal?" I asked her. "You said you recognized it."
She pressed her lips together. For a second I thought she was going to lie again. She'd done that already, twice, saying she didn't know and that it didn't matter.
"I got letters," she said. Her fingers were shaking a little where they rested next to the envelope. "A long time ago. Before you were born. I thought - I thought they were gone. I thought I'd thrown them all away."
"All of them had this same thing?" I pointed at the wax.
She nodded. "Same string. Same color wax. He used to melt it himself. He always tied it twice and then pressed the seal over the knot."
Daniel's hands tightened on the counter. "That sounds right," he said quietly.
I looked between them. The kitchen felt too warm suddenly, the air over the stove still hanging there from dinner. The granite under my elbows was cold.
"Who's he?" I asked.
My mom didn't answer. She reached out then. Her fingertips brushed the thin string where it crossed over the seal. She traced it lightly, not pulling, just feeling it. Her nail caught on the little bow.
I watched her face change. It wasn't shock anymore. It was something quieter and older, like when she looked at pictures on her phone late at night and didn't know I was awake.
She started to tug at the loop.
Then she stopped herself. Her hand jerked back like the string was hot. She folded her fingers into her palm and tucked her hand against her chest.
"I can't," she said. Her voice broke a little. "Not just - not like this. Not with you both watching me."
I frowned. "It's just an envelope."
"No, baby, it's not." She looked at me and her eyes were wet but she wasn't crying. "If I open it now I won't be able to think straight. I need a minute. Okay? I need a minute before I open anything."
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Daniel took a small step back from the island, giving her space. "That's fine," he said. "It kept this long. It can wait a few more minutes."
She nodded and didn't touch the envelope again. She just stood there with her hand against her shirt, staring down at that dark wax seal, and I stood next to her staring at the same thing, waiting for her to be ready. The envelope stayed sealed, string untouched, right in the middle of the granite where Daniel had left it.
