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Chapter 6 - The Appointment Card

June didn’t answer Edgar. She opened the passenger door for me and kept one hand on it until I was inside. His voice followed us across the street, but I couldn’t make out the words over the slam of the car door.

At June’s house, she put the kettle on, then left me alone at the kitchen table. The shared tablet sat beside my phone, its screen dark. When I reached into my purse for a tissue, my fingers caught on the corner of a small, softened card.

I knew what it was before I pulled it free.

The appointment card was yellowed at the edges, the clinic’s name faded where my thumb had rubbed it over the years. I’d kept it after the appointment—one more test, one more appointment I’d promised myself would be the last time I let hope make a fool of me.

I had told myself I saved it because it proved I’d tried.

The kettle clicked off in the next room. June came back with two mugs and saw the card in my hand.

“You still have that?”

“I don’t know why.”

“You don’t have to know tonight.”

I turned it over. The appointment time was written in my own careful handwriting, as if neat numbers could make the answer gentler.

June sat across from me. “Can I ask you something without you thinking I’m telling you what to do?”

“I’ll try.”

“Do you want motherhood? Or do you want the old bargain back—the one where you endure anything so Edgar won’t leave?”

My first impulse was to defend the dream. I had wanted a child. I still couldn’t pass a stroller without feeling the small, private ache of what might have been. But for years I’d let Kristina turn that ache into a verdict, and Edgar had let her.

“I wanted a child,” I said. “I wanted to raise one with someone who loved me.”

June’s expression softened, but she didn’t interrupt.

“That doesn’t mean I deserved this because it didn’t happen,” I said. “And it doesn’t mean I have to keep paying for it.”

My voice trembled on the last words. I held the card between both hands until its edges bent, then set it on the table instead of tearing it up. The past didn’t have to become evidence against me just because I’d carried it this long.

June touched her mug. “No. It doesn’t.”

I looked toward the tablet. The screen held the photographs I’d taken of Edgar and Heather’s messages—the dates, the names, the little pieces of a life they’d kept hidden from me. I woke it and returned to the thread.

The message was still there.

Heather: Did your mother take care of it?

Edgar: She said she handled it.

Until now, those words had been a dark shape with no edges. I scrolled down, past the messages I’d already photographed, toward the newest ones.

Heather had written again.

Heather: You said there wouldn’t be another attempt unless the first one worked.

Edgar: The first one was supposed to work.

The kitchen seemed to tilt. I gripped the edge of the table, the old appointment card beneath my palm.

Heather: What happens now?

Edgar: Mom has the cabin. Nora won’t expect anything there.

I read it twice. No details. No dates I could trust. But the words made the message unmistakable: the snake hadn’t been a sudden, solitary act. They had already begun talking about what came next.

A new message appeared while I watched.

Heather: Before Nora can change the policy?

Edgar: Before she knows what to do.

June stood behind my chair now. I hadn’t heard her move.

“What does it say?”

I angled the tablet so she could read. Her mouth tightened as she reached the end of the exchange.

“Can you save it?”

I took a screenshot, then another, making sure the names and dates showed. My hands weren’t steady, but I didn’t have to be steady to see what was in front of me. I didn’t have to decide whether I was worthy of protection. I only had to keep looking.

The tablet chimed.

Heather: I’m not going to keep doing this.

May you like

For one brief second, I let myself hope the message meant she would stop. Then another appeared beneath it.

Heather: I can’t bring the baby into this if she’s still alive.

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