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Chapter 4: The Night After He Saw

The dining room air felt too still after Vanessa shut the bedroom door. I could hear the click of the latch even over the hum of the table lamp. Dad still had the tablet in one hand and his other hand was resting lightly on my shoulder, and he didn't let go right away.

Caleb sat frozen with his fork halfway to his plate. My brother kept looking at Dad like he wanted permission to breathe.

Dad set the tablet down slowly, screen dark now, next to the plate with the bread roll. He looked at my plate, or where my plate should have been. There was nothing in front of my chair except a water glass and the faint ring where a plate had been.

"Amara," he said, quiet.

I didn't answer. My throat was still tight from crying.

He pulled Caleb's plate toward the middle of the table. Caleb had mashed potatoes and greens and two slices of tomato he hadn't touched. Dad tore the bread roll in half. The crust cracked and crumbs fell on the dark wood.

"Here, baby," he whispered. He put the half roll on a napkin in front of me.

I ate it too fast. I know I did. I stuffed the corner in and chewed without tasting and reached for the next piece before I'd swallowed. Dad's hand hovered near mine but he didn't stop me. His brow did that thing again, that furrow he'd had in the close-up, and his breathing changed.

"Slow, honey. Slow," he said, but his voice cracked a little.

Caleb pushed his potatoes toward me with his fork. "You can have it," he said, not looking at Dad.

Dad watched my hands. I scooped potatoes with my fingers first, then remembered the fork and used it wrong. My stomach made a noise I could hear. Dad kept watching like he was counting how many bites I took, like he was trying to do math in his head about how long it had been since I'd eaten.

When I finished the roll and half the potatoes, he finally exhaled. He wiped a crumb off my cheek with his thumb. His hand was shaking a little.

"I'll be right back," he told us. "You two stay right here, okay? Don't go anywhere."

He stood and straightened his tie even though it was crooked, and walked to the bedroom. He didn't knock. He turned the handle and slipped inside and pulled the door almost closed behind him, but not all the way. The light from the bedroom lamp cut a thin yellow line across the dining room floor.

Caleb and I could hear them.

Vanessa's voice came first, sharp and low. "So you're going to believe a recording over me? She's five, Marcus. She doesn't know what she recorded."

"It doesn't matter what she knows," Dad said. His voice was trying to stay calm and not doing a good job. "She's hungry, Vanessa. Look at her. She ate like she hasn't eaten all day."

"Because she steals when I'm not looking and then says she's starving for attention. I told her no and she took the roll anyway. That's what you saw. That's what she does."

I gripped the edge of my chair. The wood was warm from the lamp. Caleb reached over and put his hand over mine.

"She said you lock the food away," Dad said, quieter now. "Is the pantry locked?"

A pause. I heard Vanessa laugh, a short sound with no humor in it.

"I lock it because she sneaks and wastes food. You're never here, Marcus. You don't see what I deal with all day while you're at work in your suit. You come home for two hours and want to be the hero."

"Don't do that," Dad said. "Don't make this about work."

"You're turning them against me," she said. "Caleb told you, right? She does this when you're at work. She knows exactly what to say."

Through the crack I saw her move past the doorway. Her keychain was on the dresser, silver glinting, with two keys and a blue plastic tag and one small gold key that I knew opened the pantry lock. She picked it up and slipped it into the pocket of her cardigan without looking toward the door.

Dad was silent for a long breath. Then he said, "We're not doing this tonight. Not like this."

He opened the door all the way. Vanessa stayed by the dresser with her arms crossed. She didn't look at me or Caleb.

Dad came back to the table and crouched down so his face was level with mine. His eyes were red at the edges.

"You and Caleb are sleeping in my room tonight," he said. It wasn't a question. "Go brush your teeth and get your pillows. Both of you."

"Is Vanessa staying?" Caleb asked in a small voice.

Dad glanced back at the bedroom doorway. Vanessa had turned her back to us.

"Yes," Dad said, after a pause that felt too long. "But you will be with me. Door locked. Okay?"

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He helped me down from the chair. My legs felt wobbly. As we walked past the bedroom to the bathroom, I saw the pocket of Vanessa's cardigan where the keychain made a little bulge. The gold pantry key was still there. She hadn't put it back on the hook by the kitchen where Dad could see it.

He didn't take it. He just guided us down the hall to his room, and shut the bedroom door behind the three of us, and we listened to the apartment hold its breath for the night.

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