When Nurse Elena Said Let Me See It, My Mother Finally Stopped Running From The Exam Room

Elena brought a second chair into the room and placed it beside the cot, not between Claire and me.

I noticed that.

Claire noticed it too. She sat with both hands wrapped around her phone, elbows pressed to her sides. The tight smile was gone. Her face looked younger without it, and more tired.

A man in blue scrubs paused outside the door. Elena stepped into the hallway and spoke to him quietly. I couldn't hear the words, only the shape of them: short sentences, no wasted movement. Claire watched Elena through the opening.

"Who is he?" I asked.

"The supervisor."

"Is he going to take me?"

Claire looked at me. "No."

She answered too fast.

The supervisor entered a moment later, carrying a clipboard. Elena stood beside him. He introduced himself, but the name slipped out of my mind. I kept looking at the clipboard. There was a blank form clipped to it and a blue box at the top.

He asked Claire what happened.

She began with the truth, or something close enough to sound like it.

"He fell while playing," she said. "The guard was already on him. He got upset when we tried to remove it."

"What time did he fall?"

Claire looked toward the clock. "This afternoon."

The supervisor wrote.

I watched his pen. It made small scratching sounds that seemed louder than the fluorescent lights.

"Where did he fall?"

"Outside."

"On what?"

Claire's thumb rubbed the edge of her phone. "Grass."

I remembered the grass stains on her pants. I remembered the hard floor beneath my back before the cot. I remembered the hallway shadows and the guard pressed tight against my leg.

The supervisor looked at me. "Toby, do you remember falling?"

Claire's head turned sharply.

Elena moved half a step closer to the cot. She didn't touch me.

"I remember the guard," I said.

"Okay."

"Mom said not to take it off."

Claire's breathing changed. It was quiet, but I heard it.

The supervisor set his pen down. "Did she say why?"

I shook my head.

"Did anyone else put it on?"

Claire stood. "He's confused."

Elena's voice stayed calm. "Please sit down."

Claire didn't sit. Her face had gone pale under the fluorescent light. "He doesn't know what he's saying."

I watched her hands. She was squeezing the phone so hard the case creaked.

The supervisor didn't argue. He moved the clipboard against his chest. "Claire, I need to speak with Toby privately for a few minutes."

"No."

The answer came before he finished.

Elena looked at her, not harshly. "The door can stay open. You can remain just outside."

Claire's eyes went to the frosted panel. Someone passed on the other side, and she flinched.

"I need to be with him."

"You can be close," Elena said. "He needs a chance to answer without watching your face."

That hurt Claire. I could see it, though she tried to hide it by looking down.

She came to the side of the cot and bent over me. Her hair had pulled loose near one ear.

"Don't say things you don't remember," she whispered.

I looked at her.

The words were not mean. That made them harder.

"I do remember," I said.

For a moment, she seemed about to say something else. Then her phone vibrated.

Claire looked at the screen.

The color left her face.

She turned away and answered. "Hello?"

Nobody spoke on the other end that I could hear. Claire listened, her shoulders becoming very straight.

"No," she said.

The supervisor glanced at Elena. Elena glanced at me.

Claire pressed the phone to her ear. "I said no. Not here."

She ended the call and stood with her back to us.

I could see her reflection in the dark screen of the wall-mounted television. She was staring at herself, but she didn't seem to recognize the person there.

The supervisor pulled the chair toward the doorway. "Toby, I'm going to ask you a few questions. You can say you don't know. You can stop whenever you need to."

Claire turned around. "I want to hear."

"You can wait outside."

Her eyes met mine. The room went very quiet.

I thought she would leave. Instead, she set the phone on the chair.

"Don't erase anything," I said.

She looked down at it.

Elena's expression changed, just slightly.

Claire picked up the phone again, held it out, and placed it in Elena's hand.

"I won't," she said.