Chapter 3
The supervisor asked me about the guard one question at a time.
He didn't use big words. He asked what it felt like, where I had been, who had touched the straps. When I said I didn't know, he wrote that down too.
Elena sat near my feet. She had put the guard inside a clear plastic bag, though I couldn't understand why. The worn nylon edge showed through the plastic. One velcro strap stuck out at an angle.
"Did the guard belong to you?" the supervisor asked.
I shrugged. "It was in the car."
"Whose car?"
"Mom's."
Claire sat outside the room with her phone in both hands. She looked through the doorway whenever I spoke, but she didn't interrupt.
The supervisor leaned back. "Do you remember anyone saying anything?"
I stared at the ceiling tiles.
There had been a voice. Not loud. A voice close to my head while the strap tightened.
"Hold still," I said.
"Who said that?"
I closed my eyes.
The voice belonged to someone I knew, but knowing wasn't the same as being able to say it. My calf throbbed beneath the blanket.
"Someone said it."
"Was it your mother?"
Claire made a small sound in the hallway.
I opened my eyes. The supervisor was watching me, but not pushing.
"No," I said.
Claire stood up.
Elena rose too. "Claire."
"I need air."
"You can step to the end of the hall."
Claire shook her head. "No. I need to leave."
The supervisor stood. "We need to finish the assessment."
"You said this would take a few minutes."
"It has taken a few minutes."
A phone rang somewhere beyond the frosted door. Claire looked at the phone in her hands as if she had forgotten it was there. The screen lit again.
This time she answered without leaving the room.
"Stop calling me."
The supervisor went still.
Claire listened. Her face became tight and empty.
"I am not signing anything."
A pause.
"No. You don't get to decide what happens here."
Her eyes lifted toward me. I could see fear in them now, not the kind that made her run. The kind that made her hold herself in place.
She ended the call.
The supervisor nodded toward the phone. "May I see that?"
Claire gripped it. "It doesn't concern the clinic."
"It may concern Toby's safety."
For several seconds, Claire didn't move.
Then she walked to Elena and held the phone out.
"I don't know if any of it matters," she said.
Elena accepted it carefully. "We'll preserve the call information."
Claire returned to the chair. She sat down hard enough that the vinyl squeaked.
My hands had started shaking again. Elena noticed and pulled the blanket higher, stopping before it covered my face.
"I want my guard back," I said.
"I know."
"Can I keep it?"
Elena looked at the clear bag. "Not right now."
I didn't like that answer, but she said it like it was temporary, not like she was taking something from me.
Claire covered her mouth with one hand.
The supervisor asked if I wanted her in the room while they continued. I looked from him to Claire.
"She can stay," I said. "But don't ask her."
Claire lowered her hand.
The supervisor brought his chair inside and left the door open. Elena moved the clear bag to the counter, away from the edge.
"Tell me what you remember before the guard was put on," he said.
I thought of grass. Of Claire's running pants. Of a place I couldn't name because the memory had no walls, only the feeling of being hurried.
"I was told to be quiet," I said.
Claire's eyes filled, but she didn't speak.
The supervisor wrote for a long time.
Outside, the hallway phone stopped ringing. Nobody came through the frosted door.
When he finished, he explained that the clinic would begin an official report and that we would stay until another person came to speak with us.
Claire looked at the phone Elena held.
"Okay," she said.
Her voice shook once, then steadied.
May you like
I reached for her hand. She took it, but she didn't squeeze hard. Her fingers were cold.
For the first time that day, she stayed where she was told to stay.
