Chapter 3 - The Empty Chair by the Window
I didn't eat after that. I don't think any of us did.
My white bowl sat in front of me on the gold charger and the pasta had gone soft and pale. The steam was gone. I still held my little gold spoon, but I had it tipped down against the rim so it wouldn't clink. I could hear Daddy breathing next to me. He hadn't picked up his fork again. His left hand was rested on the dark wood near my chair, his big silver watch catching the candlelight every time he moved his fingers.
Across the table the candles burned lower. The flames bent a little when the air shifted by the large windows. I could see our reflections in the glass, all wobbly and yellow, and beyond that it was just black night. The white flowers in the middle looked too bright. My cut-crystal water glass had a fingerprint on it from where I'd grabbed it earlier.
Nobody said anything for a while. Daddy kept looking at Veronica and then back at me. Veronica sat very straight in her burgundy dress. Her diamond necklace didn't move when she breathed. She reached for her own water glass and took a slow sip, then set it down exactly in its ring.
Daddy leaned in closer to me. His shirt sleeve was still rolled up and I could see the tattoos on his forearm shift when he turned his wrist toward me. He smelled like soap and the candles.
He kept his voice low. "Sofia," he said, and then he paused. "Where was Bunny last?"
I glanced down at my bowl first. I didn't want to get it wrong. Bunny wasn't a toy I just left anywhere. Mommy had given rules about Bunny, even if I couldn't remember her saying them anymore. Bunny sat while I ate. Bunny watched.
I pointed with my spoon. The gold tipped and caught the chandelier light.
"There," I whispered.
Daddy followed where I was pointing. Past the end of the table, by the windows, there was an empty chair pulled out a little crooked. Nobody sat there. Between its leg and the table leg was a small space on the rug, just wide enough for my feet when I slipped down to play. That was where I always put Bunny so he could see me while I ate and nobody would step on him.
I slid off my seat before Daddy could stop me. My lace dress caught on the edge of the chair and I had to tug it. I kept my spoon in my hand because I didn't want to leave it either. I walked over to that empty chair and stood in the space. My shoes made no sound on the rug.
I crouched down. The wood of the table above me was dark and polished and I could see the underside. I put my hand flat on the rug where Bunny should have been. The rug was warm from the room but there was nothing under my palm. No fur. No ear.
"He was here," I said. I looked back at Daddy. "Right here. By my feet."
Daddy pushed his chair back and came to me. He didn't stand over me. He crouched down too, his knees popping a little, his black shirt pulling tight across his shoulders. He put his hand next to mine on the rug, not touching mine, just close. He looked at the empty space, then at the empty chair, then around it like Bunny might have fallen behind.
I could see the stubble on his jaw and the way his mouth pressed flat. He breathed out through his nose.
"You're sure?" he asked.
I nodded. I pointed again at the exact spot. "He sat here. So he wouldn't be scared of the candles."
Behind us a chair scraped. Veronica stood up. Her thin straps didn't slip even when she moved fast. Her earrings swung and caught the light.
"All right," she said. Her voice was smooth and even. "This dinner is cold anyway. Let me clear these plates and we'll —"
She reached for my bowl first. The gold charger clinked when she lifted it. She stacked Daddy's half-full plate on top of it. The sound was too loud in the quiet room.
Daddy stood up fast. He put his hand lightly on my shoulder and pulled me back against his leg. I grabbed onto his pants with my free hand and pressed my cheek into the fabric. I didn't want her to take my bowl. If she took it, there would be nothing left where I'd been sitting.
"We'll check after dinner," Daddy said. He wasn't looking at her. He was looking down at me. "Okay? You and me. We'll go look together."
I nodded into his leg. I didn't let go.
Veronica stopped with the plates in her hands. For a second she just stood there behind the candles. The flame light moved across her face. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.
May you like
"Of course," she said. "After dinner."
But she didn't sit back down. She stayed standing by the table with my cold pasta in her hands, and Daddy kept his hand on my shoulder, and I stayed pressed against him and didn't move from that small space by the empty chair.
