Chapter 14 - The Empty Ballroom Before the Photo
The ballroom wasn't ready for people yet. The lights were on low and the tables were set with white cloths and folded napkins and little cards with names on them. I could hear someone in the back hanging a banner, the ladder creaking when he moved. It smelled like floor cleaner and flowers.
Marcus held my hand. Not tight, just enough that I knew where to go. I had my bear against my chest with my other arm the way I always did. My dress was new but not pink. It was light blue and Lily had said it matched my eyes. Lily was in the private dressing suite with the lady who did hair, waiting for us. Marcus had told her we'd be right back.
The bodyguard stood by the double doors that led into the ballroom. He didn't follow us in. He just nodded once when Marcus looked at him and stayed by the doors with his hands behind his back.
Marcus walked me past the tables to the far wall. There was a row of framed photos lined up on a table covered with a dark cloth. They were all black and white except one.
He stopped in front of that one and crouched down a little so I didn't have to look up so far.
It was my mom.
She was younger, her hair longer than I remembered. She was laughing and her eyes were squinted from the sun. She was holding a coffee cup and wearing a jacket I didn't recognize.
"I kept this," Marcus said. His voice was low. "This is Claire. Your mom."
I stared at it. My throat got tight. I pressed my bear closer.
"I didn't know," he said. "About you. I didn't know she had you. I should have asked. I should have looked for her after we... after we stopped seeing each other. I'm sorry, Emma. I didn't know you were out there."
He didn't try to touch the frame. He just let me look.
I breathed in and out and the ballroom was so quiet I could hear the air conditioning.
"Did my mom know you would find me in the park?" I asked. My voice came out smaller than I wanted. I looked up at him.
He shook his head slowly. His eyes stayed on me.
"No, honey," he said. "She didn't know. She couldn't have known. But I think... I know she would have wanted you to be safe. She would have wanted someone to kneel down and ask where your mom was. And to not leave you there."
I nodded. That made sense and it didn't hurt to hear it that way. I looked back at the photo. Mom's smile in that picture was the same as when she used to brush my hair in our apartment before she got sick.
Marcus waited. He didn't rush me.
After a minute he stood up and took a step back, so we were standing in the middle of the empty ballroom with all those empty chairs around us.
"You don't have to do the photo if you don't want to," he said. "Lily will understand. But if you do want to, I wanted to ask you something first. Just you and me, before anyone else comes in."
I hugged my bear tighter. The stuffing was flat where I always held him.
"I want to keep him," I said. "For the picture. Even if my dress is nice."
Marcus smiled then, a real one, not the worried one he had in the park that first day.
"Of course you keep him," he said. "He comes with you. Always."
I swallowed and looked down at my shoes. They were new and shiny and I could see the lights in them.
"Can I keep my mom's name too?" I asked. "Alongside yours? Not just Blackwell. I don't want to take her name off."
I didn't look up right away. I was scared to. In the dressing suite Lily had been talking about being sisters with the same last name, and I wanted that too, but not if it meant my mom's name went away.
Marcus crouched again, all the way down so his knees touched the floor. He was at my eye level.
"Hey," he said softly. "Look at me."
I did.
"You keep your mom's name," he said. "You keep Claire's name with you, right next to Blackwell. Both of them. That's who you are. We write it down like that, on the papers for tomorrow, if that's what you want. Emma Claire Blackwell. Or whatever order you want. You choose."
My eyes got watery and I nodded fast before the tears could fall. I felt my shoulders drop a little, like I could breathe deeper.
"Both," I whispered. "I want both."
"Both," he said. He reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear carefully. "Then both it is."
From the other side of the ballroom the door to the dressing suite opened a crack and Lily peeked out. She didn't come running. She just smiled at me and held up her hand in a little wave.
Marcus stood and held out his hand again.
May you like
"Ready for that photo with your sister?" he asked.
I nodded and held his hand and my bear, and we walked toward Lily together. The bodyguard still stood at the doors, and the banner in the back was straight now, and the ballroom felt less empty than before.
