Chapter 13: Her Words for Them

Elise arrived the next afternoon with a cane in one hand and a sealed envelope in the other.
She didn’t come alone. A friend had driven her, and Adrien walked her slowly from the car to the porch while Mila and Nora waited just inside the doorway. They had been told Elise was feeling stronger, but not to expect her to stay long.
“Look at you,” Nora said when Elise reached them. “You’re walking.”
“Not very fast,” Elise replied. “But I’m walking.”
Mila watched her carefully. Then she stepped forward and hugged Elise around the waist.
Elise closed her eyes for a moment and rested one hand on the back of Mila’s head.
“I’m sorry I frightened you,” she said.
“We thought you might be gone,” Nora said.
“I know.” Elise’s voice trembled, but she kept it gentle. “I’m still here.”
Adrien stood a little apart, giving the girls room. He was grateful Elise had come, and aware that gratitude was not the same as wanting to put a burden on her. She was recovering. This visit had to be what she could manage, not what he wished she could do.
Elise lowered herself into a chair near the front window. Her friend remained outside, close enough to help if she needed it. On the coffee table, Elise placed the envelope.
The girls sat on the rug in front of her, shoulder to shoulder. Adrien took the chair beside them.
The envelope was old, its corners softened from years of being kept safe. Camille’s handwriting crossed the front:
For Mila and Nora.
Nora reached toward it, then stopped.
“Is it really Mom’s?”
“Yes,” Elise said. “She gave it to me to keep.”
Mila tucked her feet beneath her. “You said it had words she couldn’t say.”
“I did.” Elise looked from one girl to the other. “You can open it. And you can decide what happens after that. We don’t have to read it aloud if you don’t want to.”
Adrien looked at the girls.
“Would you like me to read it with you,” he asked, “or would you rather read it yourselves?”
Nora glanced at Mila. Mila’s fingers had curled around the little clay token in her pocket.
“Together,” Nora said.
Mila gave a small nod.
Adrien waited until Nora lifted the envelope and held it toward him. Even then, he paused.
“Is it all right if I open it?”
“Yes,” Mila said.
He eased out the folded pages. Camille’s handwriting filled both sides of the first sheet. For an instant, the room seemed to tilt—not because the words were hard to read, but because he knew the hand that had written them. He remembered watching those same fingers tap a pen against the kitchen table while Camille thought through a sentence.
He took a breath and began.
“My sweet Mila and Nora,” he read.
The girls leaned closer, listening.
“If you are hearing this, then Elise has kept her promise and waited until you were ready. I wish I could be beside you. I wish I could see your faces while you read, and answer every question before you have to ask it.”
Adrien’s voice caught on the last words. He stopped.
Nora put her hand on the page.
“Keep going,” she whispered.
He nodded and continued.
“You were loved before I knew what your names would be. You were loved before you could hold my finger or open your eyes. Nothing that happened between the grown-ups changed that. You were never a mistake, a burden, or a secret I wanted to keep from you.”
Mila leaned into her sister. Nora wrapped an arm around her without looking away from the letter.
“Mom loved us,” Mila said, so quietly that Adrien almost missed it.
“Yes,” he answered. “She did.”
He looked back at Camille’s words.
“I need you to know something about your father. Adrien and I had been apart when I learned you were coming. I was afraid. I was afraid that if I told him, he would come back because he felt he had to—not because he wanted to know you. I told myself I was protecting him, and protecting you. I was wrong to let fear make the decision for so long.”
Adrien held the paper carefully, though his hands had begun to shake.
Nora’s brow furrowed. “Did she think he wouldn’t want us?”
“I don’t know exactly what she thought,” he said. “But I know she was afraid. That doesn’t mean her fear was right.”
The girls looked at him, waiting.
“I would have wanted to know you,” he said. “I can’t tell you what I would have done perfectly. I can tell you I wish I’d been there.”
He looked down again.
“After a while, I started thinking I could still tell him. I thought I’d find the right time and the right words. Then I became ill, and I kept believing there would be another chance when I felt better. I was wrong about how much time I had. Elise knew I wanted to speak to him myself. I asked her to keep this letter safe in case I couldn’t.”
Mila pressed the clay token through her pocket.
“Was Mom scared when she was sick?” she asked.
Elise answered softly. “Sometimes. But she was thinking of you, too. She wanted you to have people around you who loved you.”
The silence that followed wasn’t empty. It held Camille’s absence, the girls’ questions, and the ordinary sounds of the house: the refrigerator humming, a bird calling from outside, the light tap of Elise’s cane against the chair.
Adrien read on.
“I cannot promise that the people who love you will always make the right choices. I made a choice out of fear, and it hurt people I love. I’m sorry. You do not have to pretend that it didn’t hurt. You do not have to forgive me on anyone else’s schedule.”
Nora lowered her eyes.
“Can you be sorry and still love somebody?” she asked.
Adrien thought of all the years he had mistaken distance for strength. He thought of Camille, whom he had loved and lost, and of two daughters listening to the truth of a past they had not chosen.
“Yes,” he said. “You can love someone and still wish they had done something differently.”
Nora looked at the letter again.
“Was Mom wrong to wait?”
Elise shifted in her chair, but didn’t answer for him.
Adrien chose his words slowly.
“She was afraid, and she made a choice that hurt us. Both things can be true. Loving someone doesn’t make every choice right. And making a mistake doesn’t mean the love wasn’t real.”
Nora studied his face as if she were checking for a hidden answer. Then she sat back beside Mila.
Adrien continued.
“If you are angry with me for not being there, you can tell me. If you miss me before you know me, that’s all right too. You do not have to choose between loving me and loving your father. If he is able to be in your lives, I hope you will let him try. If it takes time, let it take time.”
Mila’s eyes turned toward Adrien. He didn’t reach for her. She hadn’t asked him to, and he didn’t want to turn Camille’s letter into a demand for closeness.
“Do you want to be in our lives?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said. “I do.”
“Even if we’re mad?”
“Even then.”
“Even if we don’t call you Dad?”
“Even then.”
She held his gaze for a moment, then looked at the paper. It wasn’t a promise that could settle every fear. But he had answered without asking the girls to make him feel forgiven.
Elise leaned forward, careful not to strain herself. “There’s more.”
Adrien turned the page. At the bottom, Camille had written a few lines in smaller script.
He read them silently first. The words were for the girls, but the final paragraph was addressed to him.
“Adrien, if this reaches you, I couldn’t give you the chance I kept meaning to give. I’m sorry for that. Please don’t try to make up for every lost year at once. Just be there for them, honestly and again and again. Let them tell stories about me. Let them miss me. Let them love you in their own way and in their own time.”
The girls sat very still.
May you like
Adrien read the final line aloud.
“Give them a home that still leaves room for their memories of me.”