Chapter 10 - The Hallway Got Smaller When He Stepped In
The hallway was brighter than I remembered. The sun came through the sheer curtains in my room behind me and spilled out across the wood floor in a long white strip. I could hear the soft whir of my chair under me. I had my thumb on the joystick and Buster tucked tight against my stomach with my other arm.
I had just made it past the doorway by myself. Past the bump where the rug met the floor. My arms felt shaky but good.
Then I saw him.
He was standing near the end of the hall by the linen closet. Not on the screen anymore. Real. Same dark shirt with the collar, same slicked-back hair. His watch caught the light when he moved his hand. He had it up near his chin like he didn't know what to do with it.
My stomach dropped.
She was beside me. I felt her blue shirt move as she stepped forward half a step. Her ponytail swung a little. She didn't touch my chair.
I tightened my grip on Buster. His fur was damp where my palm had been holding him too hard. I pushed my back flat against the headrest and stared at the man's shoes. They were dark and clean and pointed toward me.
Nobody said anything for a second. The house was so quiet I could hear the air vent blowing.
I thought he was going to do what grown-ups always did. Come fast. Grab the handles. Say good job, buddy, in that loud voice. Push me where he thought I should go.
I moved my thumb off the joystick so he couldn't say I was going to run into him. I waited.
He didn't move closer. He just looked at me, then at her, then back at me. His eyes were worried. Not mad-worried. The other kind. Like he was scared he would mess it up.
She knelt down a little so she wasn't towering over me. Not all the way down like in my room that morning. Just enough. Her gold necklace slipped forward and then back.
"He came out to say hi," she said quietly. Her voice was calm. "You don't have to say hi back if you don't want."
I glanced up at her. She wasn't looking at him. She was looking at me. Waiting.
That helped me breathe a little. She wasn't handing me over.
The man cleared his throat. It sounded too loud in the hall. He dropped his hand from his chin to his side, then put it in his pocket, then took it out again.
"Hey," he said.
I didn't answer. I squeezed Buster's ear between my fingers and counted the stitches on his head. One, two, three.
I could feel him watching my chair. Watching the joystick. Watching my hand that wasn't on it. I hated that. Grown-ups always watched my hands instead of my face.
"That doorway's tricky," he said. "With the rug."
I shrugged. My pajama sleeve pulled up a little. The white trim scratched my wrist.
"It wasn't tricky for me," I said.
My voice came out smaller than I wanted it to. I wished I'd waited one more second before I talked.
He nodded fast. Too fast. "Right. Yeah. You did it clean."
She stayed where she was. She didn't correct me. She didn't smooth it over for him. Her hand rested lightly on her beige pants, near my tire but not touching it.
Another quiet second went by. The vent clicked off. Now it was really quiet.
He took one small step closer. Just one. His shoes made a soft sound on the wood. Then he stopped. There was still a lot of space between his feet and my footrests. Enough that I could turn if I needed to.
He bent his knees a little so he was lower. He wasn't good at it like she was. His back stayed stiff.
He looked straight at me. Not at Buster. At me.
"Can I walk with you to the kitchen?" he asked.
Then he waited.
He didn't reach out. He didn't move his hands toward my chair. He just stood there with his hands empty at his sides, letting the question sit there.
My thumb hovered over the joystick. I could feel the little plastic nub under my skin. Part of me wanted to say no and back up into my room and shut the door. Part of me wanted to prove I could get to the kitchen without anybody walking with me at all.
She glanced at him, then at me. "It's your call," she said. "I can come too. Or not."
I looked down the hall. It was long. The light from the living room at the end made a bright square on the floor. The kitchen was past that. I'd never done it alone with someone watching from behind.
My heart was beating in my ears. I pressed Buster tighter to my chest so the man couldn't see my hand shake.
"Don't push," I said.
It came out quick and hard. I stared at my lap after I said it.
May you like
He nodded again, slower this time. "I won't," he said.
We just stayed there. The three of us in the narrow hall. Her next to me in blue, him in dark at the end, me in the middle in my chair with Buster. Nobody moving. The sun strip moved a tiny bit across the floor while we waited.
