Chapter 14 - The Day He Left the Screen Off
That morning the bedroom was still bright. The white curtains moved a little and light made squares on the floor. My joystick clicked when I pushed it forward.
I drove my chair to the middle of the rug and stopped. I had Bear in my lap. His fur was warm from where I'd been holding him.
"Okay," I said. "You sit there. She sits here."
I pointed. The woman sat on the chair by the window like I told her. She still had on her blue shirt and beige pants. Her ponytail was a little loose. She smiled but didn't talk over me.
The man stood in the doorway. He had on his dark shirt and his watch. His hand wasn't on his chin. He just stood with his arms down, waiting.
It felt different to tell them where to go. Good different. My chest didn't feel tight.
We did my plan from yesterday. First we finished the bookshelf. She handed me the books one at a time and I put them where I wanted. Not where a baby would want. Where an eight-year-old would want. She didn't fix them after.
"That one straight?" she asked.
I looked. "Yeah."
The man didn't move to help. He watched my hands. That was okay because I said he could watch.
After a while I stopped. The room was too quiet. Usually there was a little hum from down the hall. From the other room. I’d heard it before when the door was cracked. A low buzz like a fridge. I didn’t hear it now, but I wasn’t sure.
I looked at the woman. “Is it on?”
She knew what I meant. She glanced at the man fast.
“What?” I said. “I’m eight. Just say.”
The man cleared his throat. “The screen,” he said. “You mean the screen with this room on it.”
I nodded and squeezed Bear.
He looked down at the floor, then back at me. “It’s on. I left it on.”
I pushed my joystick a little back and forth. My chair didn’t move much, just rocked.
“Can I see it?” I asked.
The woman didn’t answer for me. She waited. The man nodded once.
“Yeah,” he said. “If you want.”
We went down the hall. It was short. My chair fit fine. The woman walked next to me, not in front. The carpet was darker out there and the light was yellow and warm, not white like my room.
The other room was small. There was a desk and a big screen on it. On the screen was my bedroom. My bed with the blue blanket. The window. The rug where my chair had been. It felt weird to see it empty.
The little red light was on under the screen. The buzz was louder in there.
I stopped my chair in the doorway. I didn’t go all the way in. Bear’s ear brushed my chin.
The man walked past me to the desk. He didn’t look at me right then. He looked at the screen for a long second. His face was tight. He put his hand near his chin like he always did, then dropped it.
Then he reached out and pressed the button.
The screen went black.
Just like that. The bright bedroom was gone. The room got darker. The buzz stopped. My ears felt funny in the quiet.
He kept his hand on the edge of the desk. He breathed out slow.
“I turned it off,” he said. He said it to me, not to her.
I stared at the black screen. “Why?”
He turned around. “Because I don’t need to watch from in here anymore.”
My hands were tight on Bear. “You were watching to make sure?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I thought if I watched I wouldn’t mess it up. But watching isn’t being with you.”
The woman was behind me. I could hear her breathing. She didn’t jump in.
I looked from the black screen to him. “So where are you gonna go?”
He looked at the woman, then back at me. “If it’s okay, I’ll stay in your room. Not in here.”
I thought about it. The screen was off. No red light. No buzz. Nobody looking through the wall.
We went back to my bedroom. The light felt brighter after the dark hall. I drove to my spot on the rug again. The woman sat back in her chair. The man pulled the other chair over, the wooden one from by the desk, and sat down. His knees made a sound when he bent.
It was quiet. I could hear the curtains move. I could hear my own breathing.
It felt different without the screen on. Lighter, but also kind of new. Like someone took training wheels off and I wasn’t sure if I would wobble.
I looked at the woman. “Are you gonna check it again today?”
She shook her head. “No,” she said. “No more screen checks today.”
“Promise?” I said.
“Promise,” she said. “We’re here now. That’s it.”
The man nodded. He didn’t reach for my chair. He just sat with his hands on his legs. His watch caught the light.
May you like
I put Bear up against my chest. I looked at the doorway. The hall was empty. Nobody was back there watching.
“Okay,” I said. “Then we can do the next part.”
