Chapter 13 - Driving Practice
That morning the light through the sheer curtains was soft again, the way it had been the first day. It made white squares on the rug. I sat in my chair in the middle of the open floor and held my bear tight against my stomach with my left arm so my right hand could stay free on the joystick.
The woman was by the dresser in her blue shirt and beige pants. Her ponytail was low like always. The man stood near the doorway in his dark shirt, his watch catching a little light. He had his hand down at his side this time, not near his chin. He was trying.
I didn't say anything at first. I just pushed the stick forward a little. My chair hummed and rolled forward across the rug. I stopped before the white squares ended. Clean stop. No bump.
They both watched.
"You can stand there," I said, and pointed with my chin toward the corner by the window. I looked at the woman. "You go there."
She nodded and walked over without asking why. Her shoes didn't make noise on the rug.
I turned to the man. "You stand by the bed. By the end of it."
He glanced at the spot, then at me. "Here?" he asked, and took one step.
"A little more back," I said.
He moved back another step until his back was almost to the footboard. "Like this?"
"Yeah. Stay there," I said.
It felt strange to tell them where to go. My voice sounded small in the bright room, but they listened. That was the rule now. I had room. Nobody was in my way.
I pushed the stick again and made a slow left turn around the middle of the rug. The chair turned smooth. I could feel the joystick click under my thumb. Left, then straight, then stop. I looked up to check they hadn't moved.
They hadn't.
The woman had her hands folded in front of her. She wasn't smiling big. Just watching. The man had his arms at his sides. He looked like he wanted to say good job or something, but he didn't. He just breathed and watched. I was glad he didn't say it.
I did a right turn next, wider. Around the laundry basket the woman had moved out of the way earlier. I went around it and stopped with my front wheels straight. My bear slipped a little, so I tucked him back in with my left hand and held him tighter.
"Again," I whispered to myself, and pushed forward.
This time I went from the rug toward the open space by the door, then turned the chair all the way around in a circle. Not too fast. Just enough to show I could. The headrest pressed a little behind my head when I turned. The motor made its low sound, then went quiet when I let go.
I stopped right between them, in the middle. I could see both of them without turning my head too far.
The woman looked at me and gave a small nod. Not a clap. Not a "wow." Just a nod like, I saw that.
The man cleared his throat. "You want me to move?" he asked. "So you have more room to go back?"
I thought about it. The space behind him by the bed was tight. If I went there, I'd have to be careful.
"Yeah. Go by the door," I said. "But not in the doorway."
He moved slowly to where I told him, by the wall next to the door. He kept his hands where I could see them.
"Stop there," I said when he was right.
He stopped.
I drove backward a little to show I could. Just a short reverse, then stop. The joystick was easy when nobody was talking over me. Back, stop. Forward a little, stop.
My arms felt tired from holding my bear and driving at the same time, but I didn't want to put him down. He sat on my lap and I kept my left arm around him. He'd been with me for all of it.
The woman stayed by the window. The daylight was behind her and I could see her gold earrings shine a little when she turned her head to follow my chair. She didn't step forward to fix my bear or straighten my pajamas. My light blue pajamas with the white trim had bunched up at the knee, but she left it.
When I finished, I parked the chair facing the window, with the white squares on my feet. I let go of the stick and put my right hand on my bear too.
It was quiet. The house didn't make noise. Just breathing.
The man said, very quiet, "Okay."
The woman said, "Okay," too, almost the same way.
May you like
Nobody said I did great. Nobody acted like a baby show was over. It just was what it was. I drove. They stood where I told them. They stayed there.
I looked down at my bear, then back up at the room I had just driven across by myself, and I felt steady inside my chest.
